Monday, March 6, 2023

Flush Beams for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCLXI

flush beam in ceiling
flush beam in ceiling
Watching a freelancer who barely knows the difference between a hammer and a screwdriver attempt to explain framing carpentry is something like watching a slow-moving train wreck. We find that we just cannot look away, no matter how bizarre and/or useless the content. We've seen a lot of that useless content, as you can tell from the "framing" and "framing carpentry" entries on our topic list. Today's nominee adds yet another line to the list: meet "communications" grad Isabel Prontes and her misguided attempt to answer the question "What Is a Flush Beam?" for HomeSteady.com.

Isabel's lack of knowledge of flush beams is evident from the get-go, but the capper may well be probably her closing paragraph:
"If you want to purchase a flush beam for ceiling support of your residence or business, there are a lot of good places online to do so. These online vendors include Home Security Store, In Mod, Vac Depot, SafeMart and Central Vacuum Stores. It is also a good idea to check out hardware stores in your area such as Home Depot and Lowes."
First off, the online stores Isabel cited sell either security hardware (SafeMart) or furniture (inMod). Second, you don't buy flush beams (or any type of "beams") at a BigBox store. Sheesh.

According to Prontes,
"A flush beam... is a structural component that is located at the same level of ceiling joists and one that utilizes joist hangers for attachment. It is often used for framing deck forms like octagons..."
Just WTF "located at the same level of ceiling joists" is supposed to mean escapes us, and Isabel's "references" (even in the original eHow.com post) proved useless – one of her alleged references was "Home Security Store." And it wasn't even a referral link! Prontes went all wonky with her post, we suspect, because she tried to integrate information about retrofitting a flush beam in a remodel with using flush beams instead of drop beams in building decks. But never mind that; we just found ourselves constantly amused by some of her pronouncements about framing:
  • "A flushed [sic] beam generally works in an inferior manner compared to a cantilevered beam because the composition of the hangers and the fasteners is considerably less reliable than the attachment of wood that is directly supported and held up by wood." – Frankly, we couldn't make sense of that; but we think it's a reference to supporting a deck on drop beams instead of from the rim. Maybe.
  • "A flush beam is good at simplifying and making installation easier for heating, plumbing and electrical systems. A flush beam enables faster installation for these processes." – We have no idea where that bullshit came from.
  • "The flash [sic] beam falls under three different categories. These include the traditional flush beam (often used to open two rooms so that the beams are not visible), the upset beam (a kind of flush beam that is used in attics or in line with walls) and the drop beams (the easiest kind of flush beam to install)." – While Isabel's definition of an upset beam sucks, that pales alongside the notion that a drop beam is one of "three different categories" of flush beam. Dumbass, being dropped by definition means that a support beam is not flush!
Nope, once more we find a freelancer under the mistaken impression that her "communications" degree means that she can synthesize any information about any topic and rewrite it into useful text. Sadly, our Dumbass of the Day was wrong – way wrong.

SE - FRAMING CARPENTRY

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