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| Quartz crystal |
The folks at the Antisocial Network aren't much into the belief that crystals have powers. You're welcome to hold such a belief, but we're more convinced in our own control over our lives than that of inanimate objects chipped off the wall of a mine somewhere. Still, we couldn't help laughing at the ridiculous advice eHow.com's Sheri Lamb offered up for some metaphysically-challenged ninny who wanted to know "How to Tell if a Crystal Is Real" (now moved to OurPastimes.com by Leaf Group). We start with the assumption that said ninny wants to know not whether it's real – most people can tell whether something's real or not by simply touching it – but whether it's genuine. Unfortunately, Sheri wasn't much help. She starts out kinda right...
"Crystals consist of atoms, molecules or ions that extend to every spatial dimension in a repeating pattern."
Well, she got the "Crystals consist of atoms..." right, though the rest of it? not so much. We aren't really sure what "extend to every spatial dimension" is supposed to mean, but the repeating pattern thing is sort of right – assuming she means that any mineral has a specific crystalline structure. But enough science: Sheri's answering a question for someone in la-la-land, so why quibble? Let's see what else she has to say:
Dumbass of the Day number 50 (yea, Team Dumbass!) comes to us from the wide, wonderful world of "Do as I say, not as I do." It also comes from a website widely known for its exemplary writing – NOT – by which we mean Seekyt.com, compliments of a member who calls himself ishrabatool. What a tool. Ishra's topic is "Few Steps of Essay Writing," a title that by all itself is a hint of what you'd see if you ventured to read it. We wouldn't, if we were you. It just might make your eyes bleed. These samples ought to suffice...
Consider ishrabatool's introductory paragraph:
