Band Saws for the Dummy Woodworker (Seekyt Week 2)

Floor-standing band saw

An acquaintance tells us that at a well-known review site, now defunct, the best way to make money was to write about "anything with a cord." An unfortunate side effect was that this resulted in boatloads of fake reviews of appliances (especially vacuum cleaners), electronics and power tools. Today's dumbass is a Seekyt.com contributor who apparently figured out the same: meet Jennie Trotters (aka jennietrotters), seen here insulting the intelligence of the average tool user with a piece she called "Types and Uses of Band Saws."¹

In just a few days of looking through Seekyt's content, we determined that much of the site's content is thinly disguised advertisement for Australian or British companies, as is the case in Jennie's post. Why anyone would hire a total dumbass to write bad copy about his business is beyond our ken, however. If you sold band saws, would you want someone telling your potential customers bullshit like

"Band saws work with their long band of metal teeth which are used to cut into whatever you need. The straight up and down tenor of the blade makes for an even cutting line that is so important, regardless of the type of material it is you are cutting. No one wants to find out that their 5x11ft board is actually skewed to one side or another because of a faulty cut on the machine. Band saws take all of the guesswork out of wood working and other types of cutting. So long as the curve on the blade and the run on the saw are up kept then your cut is going to remain true."

Did the customer even read this crap before letting the moron publish it, much less paying her for this... can we call it work? If so, we need to wonder whether the management types at Calderbrook Woodworking Machinery is so unfamiliar with the woodworking machines they sell that they let Trotters say bullshit like "Band saws work with their long band of metal teeth..." "The straight up and down tenor of the blade makes for an even cutting line... " "...5x11ft board..." "So long as the curve on the blade and the run on the saw are up kept..."

Really? When you come right down to it, though, our favorite gems of dumbassery have to be "If you need to cut big sheets of plywood for different jobs, doing so with a band saw can save you an enormous amount of time..." and "Band saws are a versatile tool with so many applications in construction..." Anyone who's actually seen a band saw knows that 1) you will probably never see one on a construction site and 2) it's highly unlikely that anyone has ever cut a sheet of plywood with a band saw -- much less a 5 by 11 sheet of plywood.

We're not certain who's the bigger dumbass here: Jennie Trotters or the morons at Calderwood who let her publish this rubbish as an "advert." Maybe we should send them both a Dumbass of the Day award.

¹ The post has been deleted, and archive.org's Wayback machine never made a copy of the post. Oh, well, no loss...

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DD - POWER TOOLS

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