Installing a Pet Door, the Dummy Version

Dog Door

Have you ever walked eagerly into a store or show room, your heart set on some marvelous bargain the store had advertised, only to find that the merchandise was no longer available? Sure you have; probably every time you've shopped for furniture or a used car, sometimes even for groceries. When done deliberately (it often is), this upselling technique is a form of "bait and switch." Whether it's deliberate or simple dumbassery, content farmers and other freelancers often use a similar technique called click bait: a title or eye-catching link that leads the reader to pedestrian bullshit, but doesn't yield what it promises. You know, like the Catalogs.com how-to article titled "Installing a Pet Door at Home," posted courtesy of  Info Guru Bryce Hammons (guru, our collective hiney!)

Right up front, here's what's objectionable about Bryce's post: it's bait and switch. Despite the fact that this was slotted in WhoWhatWhereWhenWhy.com's "how-to" section, it doesn't tell you how to install a pet door. Instead, Bryce says,

"For those interested in taking this project upon themselves, there are a variety of great resources to assist with the measuring, framing, and construction (i.e.: hole-cutting) process... Those interested in a less strenuous approach can find a variety of options available to them when it comes to installation..."

...after which Hammons refers readers to a website that sells pet doors and arranges professional installation. Yep: Bryce's solution is to let your fingers do the walking! Nevertheless, let's look at what Hammons did manage to fit into his... what, buying guide? According to Bryce, for instance, a Do-It-Yourselfer (a class he seems to consider inferior), has certain options: "Purchasing or using an existing one; you'd use the measurements you took of your animal and then would cut the necessary area out of it..." ...though we found ourselves confused about the antecedent of that "existing one" and wondered what the "it" you'd end up cutting might be. We were also amused by his failure to understand the more expensive electronic pet doors, about which Bryce claims

"The electronic variety is an interesting option for owners as it's made with safety in mind. You can purchase an electronic, motorized, or even magnetic version in order to keep stray critters, other neighborhood cats/dogs, and even potential robbers out."

While yes, there are (a few) motorized pet doors – at several hundred dollars a pop – the vast majority of those electronic doors operate with a proximity sensor that prevents the flap from opening unless the animal has a "key" on his collar. And potential, not to mention small, robbers will be stymied by even the cheapest doors, all of which have solid panels that slide into the inside of the flap. Dumbass.
We'd have expected Hammons to approach such topics as through-the-wall doors, screen door flaps, slide-in patio panels, and the like – but no: all he did was recap measuring advice from Lowes and refer his readers to places where they can buy the doors. Not one word about "how to install" the door. We call that kind of presentation a bait-and-switch, and – no switching here! – we therefore present the Dumbass of the Day to Bryce for writing this rubbish.

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DDIY - PETS