Charitable Receiving for Dummies

Want a free Yugo? Probably not...

If you've spent much time online, you've probably realized by this point that the internet is mainly devoted to two things: money and pornography. As far as we can tell, though, many of the people who realized they had no hope of making boatloads of money from the porn industry decided to become freelance writers at websites like Seekyt, Bubblews, AssociatedContent or the late, but unlamented, EliteVisitors.com. Take for instance one such dumbass who calls herself (himself?) ThePen, a miscreant who's been featured here at the Antisocial Network in the past. This time, instead of spun content, ThePen's contribution to the stupidification of the internet is inanity – an article entitled "How to Get A Car From Charity."

It's difficult to decide why we found this content so worthy of the award. It might be that ThePen wrote not one, not two, but three (at least!) Seekyt buckets-o'-crap on the topic, all lovingly linked at the end. It might be that ThePen lists three (wow! a whole three!) sources for free cars, two of which are local to him/her. It might be that ThePen was too lazy to provide links to the charities he (or she – dumbassery is not confined to males) named. But it's probably the insult to our intelligence implicit in ThePen's "instructions," which consist entirely of...

"The first thing that you need to do if you are looking for a free car is to search for an organization or a charity that are willing to give cars to those who are in need of one."

Darn... and here we were convinced that when the instructions began with the phrase "The first thing," it implied that there's at least a "second thing." But nooooooo.... according to ThePen, all you need to do to get a free car from charity is search for someone to give you that car. You don't need to pull together the financial records detailing your needs, don't need to write a letter about how much you need a car, don't need to make a video showing your six  children who'll be elated that they'll no longer have to trudge nine miles each way, uphill and through the snow, to get to their ballet lessons. Nothing but "search and ye shall receive." Geez: we don't just think ThePen's a Dumbass of the Day, we know it!

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