Terrestrial Planets for Dummies

We're not going to get into an argument about whether Pluto is a planet or not. We're not even going to ask the question, "If Pluto is a dog, what the heck is Goofy?" No we're just here to point out that Sheri Lamb, freelance contributor to eHow.com, is an astronomical dumbass. We know this, because of the way Sheri tried to answer the question, "What Are the Four Planets Closest to the Sun Called?" (note: the article is now at Sciencing.com, but still stoopid...) Here's how Sheri introduced her topic:

"The universe continues to puzzle and amaze people. Its vastness is immeasurable and its cause of creation is uncertain. Much of the information astronomers have collected about the solar system is about the four planets closest to the sun. Though no man has visited these planets, probes and telescopes have helped collect valuable information."

After that semi-coherent introduction, Ms Lamb found herself with a serious problem: in order to earn her fifteen smackers, she had to meet eHow's minimum word count (300). The bigger problem? the real answer is only two words long.  So, of course, Sheri did what eHowians have done for years: she padded her "answer." She began by listing the four planets closest to the sun (Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars) and then she summarized the four in 75-100 words each. Being a typical eHow dumbass, she did a lousy job: she failed to mention that Mercury is tidally locked to the sun, and erroneously told us that the surface temperature of Venus "is attributed to a high carbon dioxide level caused by the greenhouse effect" (we're pretty certain you got that backwards, Sheri). Among other dumbassery demonstrated by Sheri is the simplistic notion that Earth's continents are "hardened lava that spewed out of the hot core billions of years ago." We're amazed that she didn't inform her readers that Mars is inhabited by marooned astronauts (probably because she wrote this before the movie)...

But, of course, the real reason the Antisocial Network hereby awards to Sheri Lamb the prestigious (NOT) Dumbass of the Day award is that Sheri never answered the question! The actual answer, which appears nowhere in her content in any form, is that the four planets closest to the sun are lumped together under the term "terrestrial planets." What a maroon!

copyright © 2015-2023 scmrak

SI - ASTRONOMY