Sloped Roofs for Dummies

Birdsmouth cut on rafter

In case you haven't notices it, the problem with researching anything online is that you have a disturbingly large chance of finding information supplied by people who simply have no idea what they're talking about. First-time builders who need help putting up a roof would be wise to steer clear of anything at eHow, because that's where you find multiple articles submitted by serial DotD Lacy Enderson. Enderson wrote lots of half-baked construction articles for eHow, including the marvelous piece of bull-pucky titled "How to Build a Sloped Roof."

Lacy's ignorance of her topic is made obvious in many ways, including right from the get-go when she suggests why one would build a sloped roof:

"For those who have a flat roof and are concerned about leaking and rotting, building a sloped roof over the flat roof is an option."

Seriously? Does this woman really think builders simply install a sloped roof over a flat one? As we often do at the Antisocial Network, we quote Bugs Bunny: "What a maroon!" But that's not all. As usual, Lacy harvested disconnected factoids from her source and threw them at the page; often after rewording them to avoid being nailed for plagiarism. That's how she ended up with choice information like "Ridge beams are great because they are one big piece of lumber." Ooooh, they're grrrrrreat, Tony! That's what I'm talking about! and then Lacy has more:

"Using 20 foot 2 by 10s for the rafters; mark each one with a ridge cut at the top, and a crowe's foot [sic] at the bottom."

We sure hope a 20-foot 2 x 10 is long enough... and, of course, we especially liked the "crowe's foot" idea. We wonder what Russell thinks about her adoration of his feet... Now, we know about crow's-foot deltas and crow's feet around your eyes, but a crow's foot on a rafter? Do you think maybe this dumbass is talking about a birdsmouth cut??? But wait, there's more - with Lacy Enderson, there's always more: "Prevent moisture and heat from building up under your shingles by adding ridge and soffit vents." No, Lacy, the purpose of the vents is to provide ventilation for the space under the roof – in the "attic," as some people call it – not "under [the] shingles."

Someone who knew what she was talking about might mention how to measure rafters, talk about different slopes, or mention the cunning design of the framing square and the speedsquare. But not Lacy: the only tool she mentions is a nail gun...
Have we mentioned that maybe people like her shouldn't be writing instructions without some kind of knowledge to back them up? We thought so: all the other times we gave her the Dumbass of the Day award.

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