Screw Sizes for Dummies

Types of screws

Did you take a shop class when you were in seventh grade? The carpenter we keep on our staff here at the Antisocial Network did. That's where she learned about metal fasteners like nails, nuts and bolts, wood and screws. When she saw today's dummy content, she said, "It's a good thing I took Shop from Mr. Heller, because otherwise I might have had to get that information from the likes of Joan Whetzel!" Yes indeed, Joanie is back on the pages of the Antisocial Network, here caught at eHow.com expounding on something she calls "Standard Screw Sizes."

In keeping with the typical eHow.com bull pattern, Joan begins with a nonsense introduction:

"The use of fasteners has grown extensively worldwide, increasing the need for standard sizing. Standardization prevents the use of improper screws, and ensures screws are compatible with the materials being used and are appropriate for the project at hand. Screw dimensions include the driver type -- such as flat, Phillips or hex -- length, shank diameter and threads per inch."

Must've been a hard to come up with a lede, if "The use of fasteners has grown extensively worldwide..." is the best she could do! Whetzel could have mentioned the history of screws, the history of their standardization, even the body responsible for setting standards. But no: she leads with "The use of fasteners has grown extensively worldwide..." We call BS on that! Likewise, we call BS on the phrases "appropriate for the project at hand" and "the driver type": the first is a choice made by the user (not by any standards body) and the second is drive type, not "driver type."

Joan, as she often does, goes into fantastic detail on a few examples while totally ignoring more pertinent facts. For this content, she expounds at length on four parameters: numbering, diameter, threads per inch and length. The problem, of course, is that Joan is talking about exactly one of the many types of screws. Which one? The answer lies in her discussion of diameter: "Screw diameter, the first number listed in the size charts, must match the inner diameter of the matching nuts and washers." But wait: only one kind of screw – a machine screw – has "...matching nuts and washers." What about all the other types of screws, by which we mean sheet metal screws, drywall screws, wood screws or self-tapping screws; the different head types -- pan, oval, flat, hex, hex cap, headless set, etc." What are the standard sizes for those?

Who cares: Joanie doesn't, 'cause she collected her ten bucks and the editor (apparently as grand a dumbass as Whetzel) collected his/her stipend. As for the reading public? they got screwed by another Dumbass of the Day passing off misinformation as "knowledge."

copyright © 2015-2022 scmrak

DD - HAND TOOLS