Bookcase Plans by and for Dummies

Laminated Bookcase from Ikea

We're not certain here at the Antisocial Network, but there may actually be a website out there that features content that's more useless than the rubbish that turns up on eHow.com. And if there is, it pretty much has to be Seekyt. Even though the website is trying to clean up its act by deleting some of the worst posts (we wonder what algorithm they use...) and by hiding the names and profiles of the contributors, well be honest: it's distressingly easy to find crap posts out there (we've already found two on the site about having a quality bowel movement, one of which is reworded from the other).  Today, we'll take a look at a someone the site used to call jayn, now known as "general contributor," who attempted to explain how to "Build Your Own Shelves With Laminate Shelving Boards." S/he failed – epically.

Those who know their hineys from holes in the ground realize that the average person can't build jack using laminated shelving boards, because

You can't cut preformed shelves to length There's no way to use fasteners (nails, screws, glue) on MDF The things weigh a ton They're remarkably expensive compared to actual wood

No, laminated shelves are pre-cut and -finished specifically so the non-DIYer can simply lay them across wall brackets. No way would anyone with a brain ever use these boards to build a free-standing shelf unit. That, however, leaves us with jayn (we don't know whether that's an alternate spelling of Jane, or it's some guy named Jay N - we'll assume the former)... a self-appointed freelancer who at one time was cranking out Seekyt content at the rate of one every fifteen or twenty minutes. Problem being when you generate content at that rate, it's gotta be crap; full of "information" like

From flooring boards to shelves and cabinets, laminated boards are preferred compared to its other counterparts ...these boards are self-sufficient. Meaning, it can stand on its own without adhering it to the wall. Once you’ve finalized your design, measurements are in order. In taking measurements, add some slight allowances in cases of minute errors during woodwork. However, if you can’t avail the right size and measurements, you might want to check the proper cutting method for these types of boards. Lastly, remember that these boards are already coated. You don’t have to furnish them with varnish or paint after construct. However, if it is inevitable, a thin coating would do.

With that, Jayn signs off. Why anyone could sleep at night after calling utter bull such as this a "how to" article is beyond our ken. This is exactly the sort of self-serving phoniness that has caused the founder of the Antisocial Network to tear out his hair. And it's also the kind of content for which the Dumbass of the Day award was developed. Go, jayn, go...

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