Poisonous Plants for Dummies

Poinsettia plant

One of our staff distinctly remembers a decades-old cartoon showing a pair of dogs deep in conversation (face-to-face instead of nose-to-butt). The cartoon's punchline? "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog." Well, we're here to tell you that on the internet, nobody seems to know that you're a liar, misinformed, or simply throwing shade on topics about which you know nothing. Take Isabelle Esteves of Writedge.com (and numerous other sites), a freelancer who writes glowing travel reviews of places she's never seen, and gives readers useless advice about a wide array of topics. Today, we find Izzy at it again, spreading misinformation and old wive's tales in her "Guide to Poisonous Plants."¹

According to Isabelle, your house and yard are veritable minefields for your babies, filled with toxic substances that can easily fall into the mouths of inquisitive toddlers and cause near-instantaneous death. Izzy starts out with rhubarb, explaining that you should

"Be very careful how you dispose of the leaves and blades however, they are poisonous..."

Score one for Isabel (even blind pigs find the occasional acorn – more on that below). She then moves on to potatoes:

"There is nothing about the potato itself that is dangerous unless it is green. This can happen if you keep the potatoes too long, don’t eat old potatoes or ones with sprouts, toss them away from where family pets might get at them too." Ummm, not quite, Ms Esteves: in reality, the green parts – leaves and stems – of the potato plant are quite toxic. So, too, are green spots on the skin, though those spots don't develop when a potato ages. And when a potato sprouts? It's perfectly safe to eat if it hasn't turned mushy. So no points for Izzy here. Moving on, Isabelle takes on a common myth about the poinsettia:

"These flowering plants which are so common during the Christmas season are a color addition to any home. The leaves however are highly poisonous."

Besides Isabelle's unfamiliarity with punctuating "however," she also spreads a vicious, untrue rumor: the leaves of the poinsettia are not poisonous, nor is any other part of the plant. The Indiana poison control center lists poinsettia among those plants that have "no known toxicity"; similarly Florida reports that the plant is not toxic. According to some who have tasted it, it is so bitter that your baby would immediately spit it out and start wailing – no points for Izzy. Moving on, Esteves takes on another Christmas favorite, mistletoe. Says Isabelle,

"If you plan to use real mistletoe, be sure to remove the berries and throw them away, they are poisonous. If they are on display in your home, the red berries could be a temptation to a toddler or they could just fall off of your kissing ball onto the floor where they would tempt pets and children..."

While mistletoe is indeed moderately toxic, the berries of the plant are not red: they're white. Isabelle has fallen prey to a common misidentification: the plant with red berries you see at Christmas is holly – also poisonous; but no points to Isabelle here, either. Another common plant Esteves would have us avoid is the daffodil, of which she says, "The flowers are beautiful and a welcome addition to your home. After the [sic] have finished flowering, it is important that you get the bulbs into the ground as quickly as possible. The bulbs of the daffodil are poisonous." Half a point, Isabelle: the entire plant is mildly toxic. Why the bulbs aren't already buried is an interesting question... And finally, Esteves takes on the mighty oak tree:

"Who would have thought that those adorable acorns are poisonous? The leaves of the oak tree are also poisonous. The best thing to do is when the acorns start to fall is to rake or sweep them up immediately and place them into a garbage receptacle."

Ignoring the ludicrous over-formality of "a garbage receptacle," there's a grain of truth here: ingestion of large quantities of oak leaves or green acorns can lead to problems for animals and humans – note the qualifier "large," however. No one gets poisoned by a handful of oak leaves, which taste so bad no kid will eat more than one. And children are in far more danger of choking on an acorn than being affected by the small amount of tannin present. Another half point.

So Isabelle ended up getting most of her dire warnings wrong or only half right – two points out of a possible six. Is it any wonder that she's collected another Dumbass of the Day award? We didn't think so, either... When it comes to poisonous plants, contact the local poison control center: they're a damned sight more trustworthy than this dumbass.

NOTE: in her zeal to malign the blameless poinsettia, Esteves omitted several common houseplants that (according to Indiana University) are mildly to moderately toxic; including dieffenbachia, amaryllis, grape ivy, aloe, weeping fig, and philodendron. By all means, find an authoritative source if you need to research poisonous plants! Don't depend on amateurs like this one.

¹ Izzy moved this tripe to her personal blog even before WritEdge folded, but no way we're gonna give her the click...

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