Diagnosing an ABS Light for Dummies (Cars Week 3)

Many of the car-related questions you see on the internet have to do with poor engine performance or difficulty getting the POS to even run. There are tons of questions about the Check-Engine Light (CEL), too; but when it comes to warning lights on your instrument panel, the ones that are most likely to catch your attention are the bright red ones warning you about the brakes. Talk about a critical system: without brakes, a driver's in a LOT of trouble! That's why we find it frightening that eHow.com let a total dumbass like Stacy Zogheib provide a freelance "explanation" to some poor, benighted reader who asked, "Why Does My ABS Light Flash?" (now available at ItStillRuns). We're all for getting out of your comfort zone, but this is not a subject for someone who only yesterday learned what "ABS" means...

In fact, Stacy's a little foggy on what an Antilock Braking System does:

"When activated it 'pumps' the brakes very quickly to allow the car to stop more effectively on slippery or dangerous roads."

Yes, Stacy, but why? What's wrong with locking the brakes? Well, the fact is that if you lock the brakes two things can happen: one, when the brakes lock you lose steering control -- a skid -- which turns your car into an unguided missile; and two, on slippery roads it takes farther to come to a stop if the wheels are locked and sliding. Oh, well, at least Zogheib didn't call them "breaks"...

Stacy's advice, if you want to call it that, is to "explain" what it means when your ABS warning light comes on. According to her, "The ABS light turns on when there is a problem with the car's braking system. This can mean that the ABS brakes need fluid or that it is malfunctioning. If the ABS light remains illuminated, this indicates a major problem that has disabled the ABS brakes. A major problem could be a faulty wiring harness or wheel speed sensor. If the light turns on then goes out this indicates a minor problem and the ABS brakes may still function. This is more likely to be an issue of low brake fluid or a brake pad that is wet or worn out." Wow: she packed a whole lot into that paragraph. Unfortunately, most of it was useless. A few things Stacy didn't know, didn't say, or didn't understand:

• The ABS light should always come on when the car is first started, That lets you know it works
• Many, if not all, modern cars have a brake warning light, distinct from the ABS light, to warn of brake malfunctions. Some even have a "low brake fluid" warning.
• An ABS warning light does indicate a malfunction within the antilock braking system (possibly even "a faulty wiring harness or wheel speed sensor"), although not in the brakes writ large. It still needs to be fixed – immediately – but you can drive it to the mechanic instead of having it towed.
• Our research did not find any instances of a "flashing" ABS light except some that were a failure of the warning light itself.

Finally, we note that in her freelancing zeal, Zogheib ultimately overstates the danger of a malfunctioning ABS:

"The ABS system is essential for safe driving and it should be in good working order at all times."

Well, no, ABS is not essential (although if your vehicle has it, it should work). Not only was ABS an extra-cost option on cars for many years, some of the research staff here at the Antisocial Network remember those days of yore, back when everyone had to pump the brakes themselves to prevent skids! We guess that our Dumbass of the Day for today is too inexperienced to have ever driven a car without ABS. Or perhaps she has and just didn't know it. Either way, she's unqualified to talk about brakes!

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