Hanging Cabinets for the Dummy Remodeler

Using a ledger to hang a cabinet

Among the most productive dumbasses the Antisocial Network's staff turn up in their research are the sort of people who have watched something being done (maybe only on TV or a YouTube video), then immediately ran to their computers to publish a "how-to" guide detailing their new "experience." These fakes tend to be easy to spot, because they so frequently leave out minor details that don't come across when you're just watching something being done instead of doing it; tricks of the trade and so forth. Lacking the knowledge and experience that even someone who's performed the task once could share, this sort of freelancing fake is a prime candidate for a DotD award; and today, Julie Henry of Catalogs.com (the website formerly known as WhoWhatWhereWhenWhy.com) displays her ignorance of "How to Hang Kitchen Cabinets" for our readers (now credited to "editorial staff").

As is so often the case with freelancers who have zero experience with a topic, Henry emphasized trivia and glossed over important details. Let's take a f'rinstance: According to Julie, 

"Base cabinets are usually 34 to 35 inches high; the distance between the counter top and the wall cabinets should measure about 18 inches. Therefore, when measuring you're looking at about 54 inches total. "

Well, Julie, the standard height for a base cabinet is 34½ inches. Added to 18 inches, that's 52½ inches: why do you measure 54 inches? We know why, but you don't mention the thickness of the countertop. Is it because you didn't know? But anyway... Julie's sales pitch came next: "make sure you have the best kitchen cabinet hardware," complete with a link to a store selling cheap-o cabinet hardware. In reality, though, you don't worry about hardware until the cabinets are installed...

Now for some of the stupider things Julie said: 

"Professionals swear by attaching the cabinets together in order to hang, rather than hanging one at a time."

Really? They do? Well, we'd love to see Mr. or Ms. Handyperson screw together twelve feet of upper cabinets and then casually lift them into place. In other words, that's utter bull. Even other bull peddlers, like those at DIYNetwork.com, only suggest installing them in pairs.

Julie "explained" that cabinets have a "hanging strip" that you have to screw through (and wisely suggests that you attach the cabinets to studs instead of hollow-wall hangers). She also, for some reason, parenthetically mentioned that "...kitchen cabinets come with brackets provided by the manufacturer. These brackets can be fit to the wall (through the studs) and the cabinets affix to the brackets..." ...which is news to us (and probably to cabinet manufacturers), or would be if we could figure out what it means. And then there's her "instruction" to "Set the bottom of the cabinet on the one-by-four you installed for support and attach the cabinet through the marks you made on the hanging strip. Remove the ledger strip and use it as you continue to hang kitchen cabinets."

Which would be more informative had she had at least used the word "ledger" before this point -- though, in our experience, it's wiser not to screw around with the ledger as you work. Julie completed her task by telling you to install the doors and hardware. Umm... we wondered when the hangers were going to screw together the face frames (if there are face frames) and what Julie might think of the words "stile" and "rail." More to the point, we wondered what kind -- and length -- of screw you would want to use. something conveniently(?) overlooked in her epistle. Oh -- and what about installing the base cabinets? Oh yeah, and by the way: don't people who've actually hung cabinets tell you to start in a corner? Sure they do!

No, it's pretty darned obvious that this is someone who has never hung a kitchen cabinet in her life, and that is not the sort of person we want advice from. It is, however, the sort of person to whom we so often present our Dumbass of the Day award, though -- every day, in fact...

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DDIY - CABINETS