Glacier Formation for Dummies

Valley or alpine glacier

In browsing through the profile of today's DotD candidate, the Antisocial Network researcher noted that she once wrote an article about identifying scabies mites. He figured that was pretty much apropos, given that the writer had infested the internet with – by her own admission – "thousands of articles for online publications such as Demand Studios, Bright Hub, Associated Content and WiseGeek." While we certainly hope that the content of those thousands of articles is not all as... let's say "substandard" as that of "How Does a Glacier Form?"¹ we suspect that much (if not all) of it is – and that Alicia Bodine could prove to be a rich vein of dumbassery to mine in the future.

We say that because Bodine proves not only to be attempting to punch above her intellectual weight here (unsuccessfully, for whatever that's worth) but she also has grammatical problems. Here's an example from the DMS-mandated introduction to her opus on glaciers:

"The glaciers will not be at any more than a 30-degree angle on the bottom. If the snow/ice mixture is at more of an angel [sic] than that then it will fall as an avalanche (crumble and separate). A glacier is only considered a glacier after it has begun moving."

...to which our glaciologist said, "Huh?" and our grammarian agreed. Totally.

When you get down to reading the piece, it becomes pretty obvious that Alicia has factual problems. After all, she's the one who claims that "There are four main types of glaciers: continental, ice caps, piedmont and valley. Continental glaciers are the largest. Because of their size they don't move very fast. They are the glaciers most people think about when they hear the word glacier. Ice caps are the smallest of the glacier family. " In the first place, we suspect that most people think of valley glaciers first, based on the two large national parks in the US that feature glaciers. And in the second place, Earth's polar ice caps are both a damned sight bigger than any valley glacier... We also found this bit of "information" fascinating:

"Where do the formed glaciers end up? The glaciers will slide down mountains and usually end up in either one of two places: a valley or an ocean. The most common places to find these glaciers is in Antarctica, Alaska, Iceland and Greenland."

So far, no one here at Antisocial Network HQ can figure out WTF a "formed glacier" is, but we do know that continental glaciers are pretty unlikely to "slide down mountains" and end up in a valley.

What is most distressing about this middle-school-level "research" and jumbled compilation of half-baked facts is that eHow has let this utter rubbish stand since (at least) 2009, when. according to the Wayback Machine, eHow readers had rated it 2½ stars out of five. That's eHow readers, folks, the most misinformed people on Earth! and here you wondered why we chose Bodine to be today's recipient of the Dumbass of the Day award. Wonder no longer.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was ehow.com/how-does_4564178_a-glacier-form.html

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