Monday, August 15, 2016

Disc Brake Pads for Dummy Drivers

Disc brake rotor and caliper
Disc brake rotor and caliper
When it comes to DIY jobs on the family car (or truck, SUV or minivan), the brake system presents the most interesting intersection between ease of service and potential disaster if screwed up. A reasonably handy person with a reasonably well-equipped toolbox can perform some of the simpler tasks under the backyard shadetree, but this is definitely one system where you don't want to screw up. That's why we were displeased to find Catalog.com's Aurora LaJambre exercising her creative writing skills (as opposed to her first-hand knowledge) to tell her readers about "Changing brake pads and basic brake maintenance" (now credited to "Catalogs  Editorial Staff"). Sigh: another "creative writer" who doesn't recognize non-parallel construction...

Besides the fact that LaJambre says next to nothing about the promised "basic brake maintenance," it was pretty obvious that she'd merely reworded a more authoritative source to write her post. We guess that's the "creative" part of her skill set. For instance, Aurora never says a word about drum brakes, and never mentions the possibility of rear disc brakes. No, she talks only about front disc brakes. According to Aurora,
"The majority of changes you make to your brake pads (about 90%) will be to the front brake pads. On most cars, the front brake pads are visible from the back of the front tires, pressed against the metal rotor."
...which, we note, is either clumsily worded, bull or both: the pads aren't "pressed against the... rotor" unless the brakes are engaged, and just where is "from the back of the... tire"? Aurora also informs us that
"Most brake pad systems are designed to make an impossible-to-miss annoyingly high-pitched screeching or squeaking noise to tell you it’s time to change them..."
...which is again a misstatement: the pads aren't a "brake pad system," they're part of the disc brake system. They're just wear items – not a "system." But enough quibbling, because Aurora is now explaining how to take apart the brakes. She says,
"Disconnect the bolts holding the caliper in place. Detach the caliper from the rotor."
Wow: those are really skimpy instructions for a critical step! Shouldn't you be telling us just where these bolts are, anyway? How many there are? Do we have to loosen all bolts? What about the hydraulic hose: do we take that off, too? Who knows? These guys do – but to LaJambre, it's just "disconnect the bolts." Yeah, sure! and you don't "disconnect" bolts, anyway; you loosen or remove them... Then there's
   
"Remove the clips holding the brake pads and examine them. If they are worn thin? [sic]"
What's the antecedent of "they"? The pads or the clips? And if they, whichever "they" are are worn thin, then what? Aurora doesn't say.

So now, you're ready to replace the pads (and the clips, though LaJambre doesn't mention that), but first you have to retract the piston -- Aurora says that's easy, you just "push it with your hand" -- but, then, she thinks the piston is "a metal flap about 3” long." That's not what Edmunds or even her reference says... the dumbass. Now, to install the new brake pads, she says you,
"Take off the old brake pads. Use the brake pad grease to lubricate the back of the new brake pads, careful not to grease the fronts. Attach the pad to the rotor and slide it in place."
Wait, what? Attach the pad to the rotor??? Doesn't she mean caliper? Oddly, that's LaJambre's last step. She makes no mention of reassembling the caliper or remounting it on the rotor, never mentions doing the two wheels one at a time, never mentions rear brakes, never mentions bleeding the system. No, she just says "Disconnect the bolts holding the caliper in place. Detach the caliper from the rotor." Hers is not just dumbassery, it's dangerous dumbassery. For Aurora LaJambre, this is Dumbass of the Day award number two, but we think she deserves about a dozen for this one post alone.
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DD - BRAKES

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