Timing Belts and Dummy Lawyers

Routing of timing belt

Long-time readers of the Antisocial Network (Hi, Mom!) may have noticed that we occasionally devote a week to a topic or a website for which there's sufficient stupidity floating around the web. We've done plumbing, tectonics, the oil business, math, and some other topics; but we've never picked out a profession. If we did so that. J-school grads and people who hold degrees in "communications" might feel sorry for themselves... Be that as it may, you'd think lawyers wouldn't have the time (according to "The Paper Chase," anyway) or the need to augment their income at sites like eHow.com, but apparently not: we know of more than one lawyer who wrote bull on the site. Well, we found yet another not long ago, She's Vanessa Padgalskas, who posted lots of content about Rolex watches and Mercedes-Benz autos. She also posted "What Are the Symptoms of a Timing Belt Going Bad?" (now at ItStillRuns.com), as if she'd ever heard of a timing belt before.

Padgalskas started off by "educating" her audience about timing belts, about which she correctly says,

"A timing belt controls the timing of the engine's valves..."

...after which Vanessa immediately launched into a discussion of the difference between interference and non-interference timing belts:

"There are two different types of engines: interference and non-interference. If a timing belt snaps or slips on an interference engine, the engine will be badly damaged costing a small fortune in repairs. If a timing belt snaps on a non-interference engine, the engine will be damaged but will not cost as much in repairs as an interference engine."

All that's more or less true: vague and simplistic, but true. Of course, any introduction written by someone who knows how an internal combustion engine actually works would very likely include a mention of why an engine needs a timing belt. Not so Ms Padgalskas.

Apparently needing more filler to meet Demand Media's minimum  word count, Vanessa next launched into a discussion of the difference between timing belts and timing chains and different manufacturers' recommended change interval for timing belts. When she finally got to listing symptoms, however, the problems she listed are so general that they could be the result of dozens of problems. Padgalskas said the symptoms of a failing timing belt are Excessive exhaust Difficult to start Leaky engine [she doesn't mention what's leaking...] Shakes

Yup: according to Vanessa, if your car has any of those problems, you may need to replace the timing belt. Never mind that excessive exhaust might mean the rings are shot, difficulty in starting could be caused by many problems in the fuel or ignition system, a leaky engine could be just about anything, and the shakes could come from a failing tire or bad suspension. These aren't symptoms of a failing timing belt, they're symptoms of an old car. Idiot.

Professional mechanics suggest that engine misfires, failure to crank, and strange noises are all symptoms of a failing timing belt. Lawyers, on the other hand, just kind of toss out a bunch of words and hope they can confuse the reader as much as they confused the eHow.com content editor. That's why this one's our Dumbass of the Day.

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