Battery Chargers for Dummies

Plug-in car charger

Ever noticed how two people can be talking about the same thing and not realize it? This happens a lot, especially if one of the two people doesn't know the "proper" name of something. Take, for instance, those battery chargers that plug into the power port (what used to be called the cigarette lighter) of your car. The person in the know would call it something like a "battery charger"; the person who's only just learned such a thing exists might call it a "car charger." Heaven help person number two if he or she is looking for instructions on how to use this device, because about the only answer out on the internet is on eHow.com, and it comes from Kallie Johnson (aka Carrie Catalano) in her post "How to Use a Plug-In Car Charger"¹ (now appearing at ItStillRuns.com).

Being, as so many English majors are, ignorant of things mechanical; Kallie apparently assumes that by "plug-in car charger" the OQ means something you plug in to charge your cell phone. Inherent in her assumption is that the OQ is too stupid to tie his or her own shoes. That's why Kallie leaps to the rescue with detailed instructions:

1. Remove the cigarette lighter from your vehicle's cigarette lighter outlet.
2. Insert the plug-in car charger into the cigarette lighter outlet.
3. Plug the outlet on the other end of the car charger into the power jack on the item to be charged.

Wow: that's right up there with "How to Change a Light Bulb," isn't it! Not to be deterred, Johnson continues in this vein for another 75 words, concluding with the admonishment to

"Remove the car charger from the outlet and the electronic product when charging is complete or you are exiting the vehicle." We figure the problem is that neither the OQ nor Kallie bothered to think through the question. Assuming that only a blithering idiot – someone probably incapable of getting online to ask the question in the first place – doesn't know how to use the charger Kallie describes, it becomes obvious to people who know such a thing exists that the question is actually about a battery charger that plugs into a vehicle's 12-volt DV port – which, despite Kallie's claim, is not "also known as a power takeoff" – to provide a trickle charge to a dead battery. Yes, Kallie, such things exist, and there are people who need instructions on how to use them. It's just that you're not qualified to provide them...

Since she was unqualified to write on the topic. wrote anyway and was paid for her "labors," Kallie Johnson is a well-deserving recipient of the Dumbass of the Day award. Since she also "considers herself an expert on do-it-yourself home improvement topics," we imagine this won't be her last appearance at the Antisocial Network.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_7427614_use-plug_in-car-charger.html

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DD - BATTERIES