A Plywood Fence for (and By) Dummies

We see a lot of cockamamie claims made by internet freelancers who claim to be helping their readers. Some are only shilling for a vendor or service, some are well-meaning but clueless; but we reserve our wrath (such as it is) for the people who write about topics about which they knew nothing before taking the "assignment." Many of them wrote their rubbish for the site eHow.com, which has begun parceling its content out to niche sites such as Techwalla.com and Sciencing.com (names that leave a sour taste in our collective mouth here at the Antisocial Network). Recently, they've begun moving content to one of their "home-focused" sites, Hunker.com. Our first hunkery DotD, then, is one Jeff O'Kelley, who gave the internet "Plywood for Privacy Fencing."

We don't know about you, bet we aren't sure we're ready to take project advice from someone who describes plywood like this:

"Plywood is a strong, lightweight, rigid building material that doesn't easily split, crack or crumble. It is constructed by gluing numerous thin strips of wood veneer together to produce a board of the appropriate thickness."

We're particularly distressed by the notion that plywood is made of "thin strips" of veneer, since we're pretty sure it's made of thin sheets of veneer: wouldn't someone with the expertise needed to build projects from plywood know the difference? Whatever... O'Kelley goes on to tell his readers that

"Exterior-grade plywood is constructed using a waterproof glue that reduces the possibility of breakdown or splitting, making it well-suited for fencing projects..."

...which isn't quite true, since exterior plywood is made with water-resistant glue. If you want waterproof, you need to spring for marine plywood. Jeff then explains (if you want to call it that) how to make a privacy fence with plywood: "Whole sheets can be used to create a simple privacy fencing option that blocks all access. A shadowbox fence effect can be achieved when plywood is cut into sections and attached to both sides of the fence rail or posts in an alternating pattern." We understand the whole "solid-panel" concept Jeff, but really: if you want a shadowbox fence, it's far cheaper, less time-consuming, and wasteful to just use pre-cut pickets. Idiot! More dumbassery concludes this post, in which the website designer and photographer claims that...

"Plywood fencing can provide a great deal of privacy but may also affect wind flow and access to your yard... During high wind or storms, plywood sheets can be ripped from fence posts and become a safety hazard."

No duh, Jeffy! Though, of course, fence pickets can be a safety hazard, too... While we're on the topic of wind load, one thing O'Kelley should have mentioned, but didn't, is that solid-panel fences need a more secure framework, so posts need to be more deeply buried and cemented in place. But you wouldn't know that, would you...
Trying to tell people how to do a project when you've never done it yourself? Dumb: a Dumbass of the Day kind of dumb!

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