Building a House for Dummies

Residential construction site

One of the things we occasionally find here at the Antisocial Network is people who vastly overestimate their level of expertise with a topic. Most of our DotD candidates are just plain spreading bullpuckey, but some actually think they know what they're talking about. Take, for instance, eHow.com's Ann Johnson: Johnson once sold real estate (that communications degree didn't pay off?), which she apparently though made her an expert in home construction. It didn't, as is made obvious by her post "Components of Building a Home."¹

The reality is that you can find a timeline for building a house in about a million different places on the internet, with an ordered list of the tasks you need to complete running from buy the land to move in. Johnson, unfortunately, either found a bogus list or just did a crappy job of copy-reword-paste. Her topic list runs like this: 1) Get land, 2) Get plans, 3) Pull permits, 4) Pour foundation, 5) Frame, 6) Build, 7) Finish.

Yeah, we guess so... it's just that Ann isn't particularly good about the details. Here are a few faux pas...

• "Introduction: ...if the house you are building is non-traditional, such as a straw-bail [sic] structure or subterranean home..." Ummm, no, that's a straw bale...
• "Plans: House plans must be drawn to map out the floor plan or design of the building. This is often done by an architect." If not by an architect, then by whom? A graphic designer? A communications graduate?
• "Foundation: A foundation is not necessarily concrete, yet in many regions it is a preferred choice to help discourage subterranean termites." What about basements? or the differences between slabs and foundations? Duh?

• "Foundation: During this stage, lines for pumping and electrical can be laid." "[Lines] for pumping? Does that mean water and sewer? And what lines are "laid" for electrical in a slab? Oh, and there's also HVAC running though most slabs -- gonna mention that?
• "Framing: During this phase, different plumbing fixtures, such as toilets and bathtubs, may be set." No, Ann, they're not: the plumbing is roughed in -- as is all the wiring, which you forgot to mention -- because much of both runs through the walls, under the floors, and in the ceilings!
• "Building: The windows are set and the outer walls, insulation, roofing and drywall are installed. " You forgot doors... and those "outer walls"? That's called siding, dummy.
• "Finish: During the finish stage walls are painted, final electrical and heating and cooling systems are completed, cabinets are finished, flooring is installed, and the site needs to be cleaned" You forgot plumbing, Ann...

After two years of this, we still have no idea why anyone with at least half a brain would go anywhere near eHow looking for instructions on building a house! However, after reading this sort of rubbish we are pretty sure we know why someone wouldn't look there for help. Anyway... for having the chutzpah to pretend she can help "make" the most valuable thing most people ever own, we hereby name Johnson the Dumbass of the Day. ¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/about_4812632_components-building-home.html

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DD - CONSTRUCTION