Basement Bathtubs for Dummies

I want to install one of these systems, Steve...

One of our researchers reads mystery novels the way some people eat potato chips, which is to say "one after another." As a consequence, he's been exposed to a lot of pop psychology about interrogation and recognizing lies and the lying liars who tell them (such as Bill O'Reilly). One supposed tell about lying is when the suspect deflects and answers a different question. Oddly, we see that all the time among freelancers; especially those who have no idea what they're talking about. Take, for instance, eHow's Steven Symes, who deflected all over the place on the question, "How to Install a Bathtub Drain in the Basement."¹

It's a simple question, really: since the basement floor is below grade, how would gravity allow a tub to drain up into the wastewater system? In Antisocial Network HQ, there's a half-bath in the basement that's plumbed to a pit with an ejector pump to raise wastewater up to the level of the main drain. All that infrastructure was in place beforehand, however, instead of installed in a remodel. That's quite probably the question the OQ wanted to address... but Symes had other ideas:

"Installing a bathtub's drain system means you must gain access to the underside of a bathtub. When the tub sits over a basement, you can access the drain pipes from under the tub, but you do not have this option with a bathtub in the basement. You can access the drain pipes from the wall directly behind the tub's overflow drain opening..." ....Ummm, Steven? The question was about how to install a bathtub drain, not access a bathtub drain! Yet Symes engages that English MA of his to prattle on for another couple hundred words, blithely repeating instructions for working on existing tubs without ever saying a word about a basement. Deflect much, Stevie? Or is it just that you didn't understand the question...

You know there are actually people out there who know how to do this – here's one of them, but not the only one. What's interesting is that Symes' "instructions" have nothing to do with the fairly labor-intensive process of installing a bathtub in the basement, which involves quite a bit of digging and busting up some concrete. Oops, another word that doesn't appear in Steven's garbage post.
This is just one more example of a self-appointed freelancer (English major or J-school grad variety) thinking to him- or her-self, "That uneducated handyman can do it, so how hard can it be?" Then they describe the process in loving, albeit erroneous, prose. That's why Mr. Symes has three, now four, Dumbass of the Day awards on his cubicle wall.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_8693376_install-bath-tub-drain-basement.html

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