Cleaning a Bicycle Chain for Dummies

A dirty road bike chain -- but there's no mud...

Dumping things into categories, unfortunately, can sometimes get you into unforeseen trouble. Take, for instance, the limited number of categories at the former eHow.com, where "beauty" had its own category but science somehow ended up as a subcategory in "toys and hobbies." Yeah, sure... anyway, when someone wanted to know "How to Clean a Bicycle Chain,"¹ it ended up in their "sports" category where it was claimed by a sports "expert"; a fly fisherman by the name of Zach Lazzari. Lazzari may know a lot about fly fishing, but he clearly knows little about bicycle maintenance...

Why would we say that? Well, because in his he made this erroneous claim:

"Dirty chains stick, slip and have difficulty shifting."

No, Zach, dirty chains do not "slip." A lot of things will cause a chain to skip, but about the only thing that could cause a chain to slip is a drive train so worn that the cogs don't engage (or a loose lockring somewhere). As for "sticking," we couldn't figure out what that was supposed to mean, though what he probably means is what cyclists (people who know about riding bicycles) call "chain suck." That could be caused by a very dirty chain, but not always. And difficulty shifting? much more likely to be a result of poor derailleur adjustment and/or a worn chain.

Lazzari goes on to tell his readers that

"Moderate amounts of dirt, mud and grime caked to the exterior require a simple cleaning without removal..." ...a statement that would make a road cyclist scream in horror (we heard that when our researcher first came across this dross). That's because even a small amount of "grime caked to the exterior" calls for a thorough cleaning. Zach next gives rudimentary instructions for cleaning and lubing a chain using a toothbrush and soap and water. Maybe, but we think some degreaser is in order as well... Lazzari also explains why (he thinks) chains need cleaning: "Soaking the chains from older bikes is fine because the lubricants are easily renewed but new chains utilize small pins and the lubricants are sometimes difficult to replace."

Due to his poor research skills, Zach failed to notice that the "older" and "new" adjectives in his source (the one and only Sheldon Brown on chains) referred to a change in chain design between the 1970s and 1990s – twenty years before Lazzari posted this crap. Oops! talk about your bad research...

Finally, Zach tells his readers to make certain that the entire drive train is clean, which, wonder of wonders, is good advice. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite drive the final point home:

"Inspect all parts that contact the chain and clean with the toothbrush, dish soap and water combination. Use cotton swabs and tooth picks to remove dirt from difficult spots. Wipe everything down with a clean rag to ensure cleanliness before using the bike."

Errr, Zach, weren't you supposed to tell them to lubricate the chain before using the bike? Sure you were...

It's pretty obvious that Lazzari thinks there's only one kind of bicycle (mountain bike) and that you don't need to clean a chain unless it's covered with mud. Nothing could be further from the truth – and Zach never said one word about the real reason to keep your chain clean, which is to reduce wear on the chain (a part that, apparently unbeknownst to him, should be replaced regularly) and the rest of the drive train. That omission alone is enough to earn him the Dumbass of the Day award.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_2100_clean-bike-chain.html

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