Cottonwood Trees for Dummy Leaf Collectors

Cottonwood leaf

Here at the Antisocial Network, we often complain about people with journalism degrees who think that their "training" in "how to research" a topic makes them instant experts on everything in the world. Actually, we don't complain about them, we slap them around; metaphorically, of course. What could make a web designer and insurance agent like Kate McFarlin think she's qualified to teach a fifth-grade science class is beyond us, but there she was at eHow.com, trying to answer the question, "What Tree Does a White Fuzzy Seed Come From?"¹ for Hunker.com.

We have a staffer with a forestry degree, and her take on McFarlin's answer boiled down to, "Well, at least she got the common name right..." Yes, Kate explained that

"If you notice a profusion of fuzzy white seeds floating through the air in late spring, you can trace these seeds to cottonwood trees. The seeds of this tree are very small and are propagated thanks to the white fuzz that surrounds the seeds..."

...which, as should come to no surprise to anyone since it's so basic a question, is pretty much correct: flowery, but correct. Kate's problem came after that because, due to the minimum word count requirements at Demand Media (now Leaf Group), she had to keep writing, and continuing to write is where she got into trouble.

We've noticed that liberal arts types are pretty sloppy when it comes to the process of tree identification (see some of their attempts to describe pines or oaks). The same thing seems to have happened to McFarlin when she explained how to identify a cottonwood by its leaf: "The leaves of the cottonwood are very shiny in appearance and will make a distinctive rustling sound in the wind. The leaves of the tree are a bright green during the summer months, changing to a deep gold during the end of the growing season in fall."

Ummm, yeah: "shiny"... "bright green"... "distinctive rustling"... Except for the part about rustling, which is kind of throwaway because she didn't mention what makes the sound "distinctive," those descriptors are basically useless. What's the leaf shape, Kate? (somewhat triangular) The size? (3" to 5") Simple or compound? (simple, alternate) Smooth or toothed? (toothed)... no, "shiny and bright green" is pretty much useless. And what does the bark look like? What's the growth habit? Heck, McFarlin doesn't even say whether a cottonwood is deciduous or a conifer, though we suppose the discussion of its seeds makes that pretty clear – to someone who knows the difference.

McFarlin blathers a bit about tree size, misidentifying the cottonwood as "slow-growing" and making the monumentally uneducated statement that

"There are male and female cottonwood trees, but only the female tree will produce seeds. However, it needs a male cottonwood tree in close proximity to do this..."

...as if anyone needed further evidence that this particular freelancer was doing nothing but a copy-reword-paste job (such as the statement, "This tree has adapted to the plains..."). Faking knowledge and repeating useless factoids while omitting critical information: these are our keys to identifying Freelancerus dumbassi, the Dumbass of the Day.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/info_8689457_tree-white-fuzzy-seed-come.html

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