Homemade Curling Stones for Dummies

Curling stones

Our research staffers find many an internet freelancer whose body of work suggest that their grades of C in their science and math classes (assuming they took any at all) were grade inflation and/or generosity. Regardless of these and similar educational deficiencies, many a self-appointed "freelance journalist" maintains that he or she can write knowledgeably about any topic. We like to prove them wrong. Take eHowian Rachel Murdock, who may have seen curling once in the Winter Olympics: she had the gall to think she could reword someone else's instructions about "How to Make Curling Rocks for Fun"¹ (at SportsRec.com). She couldn't...

We went straight to her original source to find out where Rachel ran into problems. But first, we'll show you what originally caught our eye in the eHow post:

"Use 2-foot by 6-foot boards, or some other sturdy material to build up the sides so the bowl can sit flat with the handle hanging out the bottom..."

Right: we found Rachel's work among the candidates for our 2-by-4 week, in which some moronic content editor added "foot" to the dimensions of 2-by lumber. Let's hope Rachel and a few friends can move around those "2-foot by 6-foot boards," which will weigh about 500 pounds per running foot... but on to Rachel's mistakes:

In her materials list: "2 stainless steel mixing bowls for each stone, about 2.6 quarts (2.5 liters) each" – the original calls for 5-liter bowls... Oops. Besides, ever seen a 2.6-quart mixing bowl? Neither have we. Also in materials list: "Nut and bolt adhesive" – apparently DMS wouldn't allow her to use the trademark Loctite® like the original did... Step 1: "Drill a 1/2-inch hole in the bottom of one bowl near the edge of the flat bottom with the hole saw" – good luck finding a half-inch hole saw, Rachel... Step 1, continued: "The elbow... will act as the rebar to connect the two bowls of concrete together" – "the rebar," Rachel? don't you mean a rebar? Step 2: there's those 2-foot by 6-foot boards" Step 3: "Fill the bowl to the rim... using a slightly running mix of concrete" – The original said "runny," Rachel!

Murdock did fairly well on rewording the remainder of the instructions, including a "tip" on properly securing the galvanized pipe "handle." That still doesn't mean that Rachel has the slightest idea what she's talking about, though: the misstated mixing bowl volume and the bull about 2-by-6s are all we needed to award her the Dumbass of the Day.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_12124858_make-curling-rocks-fun.html

copyright © 2017-2022 scmrak

DD - SPORTS