Dishwashers for the Dummy Homeowner

Dishwasher parts

Here at the Antisocial Network, we'd like to think that if you asked one of our staffers how something works, the answer would address the principles and processes involved. Say, you ask how scissors work, you'd learns something about levers and something about the wedge shape of the device's cutting surfaces. But, then, our staffers are tech-y, science-y types. eHow.com's Kelly Townsend isn't tech-y or science-y, as is almost ridiculously obvious in the article she penned for HomeSteady.com called "How Does a Dishwasher Work?"

Townsend (at one time known as K. Ellis by eHow), perhaps limited by the English BA her parents paid tens of thousands for, started by explaining that

"How dishwashers work is not very complex for the user as you simply load the dishes, place the soap into the proper area, press a button and the dishwasher does the rest. However, the internal mechanics are much more complex."

Well, yeah: so what, Kelly, are those processes? Well, according to Ms. Townsend, they are

Appropriate Settings Soap, Water Mix: "Sensors within the unit make sure that the water does not overflow..." Dishes Jet Sprayed: "The motor [sic] forces the water up through jets in the dishwasher, causing it to spray the dishes with the water and detergent." Automatic Turnoff: "Once a dishwasher has finished its cycle, the machine will turn off." Improved Efficiency: "The time it takes for a dishwasher to run has also decreased, as many modern day versions can clean a rack of dishes in 15 minutes or less." Our comments?

• We have to admit, we don't think settings are a "process."
• We're pretty sure there's more to it than "making sure the water does not overflow."
• First, it's a pump, not a motor. Second, Kelly could at least have mentioned the spray arms?
• Is that some way of mentioning the timer? Of alluding to sensors for the level of soil? Then why not say so?
• Sorry, Kelly, we're pretty sure no dishwasher cycle (other than rinse and hold) has ever been less than 15 minutes long.

What's that leave us with? Well, there's no mention of spray arms, no mention of a pump (except for that "motor" bullpuckey, no mention of a timer, no mention of the complexities to which Townsend alluded in her introduction. This is at only slightly above the level of understanding of "A car works by burning gas. This makes the wheels go around." Yup: classic Dumbass of the Day material.

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