Geophysical Exploration for Dummies

Geophysical exploration for gems

The science types on our staff are understandably disappointed by scientific illiteracy, but realize that not everyone's brain is wired the way theirs are. What they find repugnant, as opposed to disappointing, is the mess the scientifically illiterate make of science facts while freelancing. There is, believe it or not, worse: the freelancer who spins scientific content but is too scientifically illiterate to proofread it. Today's example comes from the fine folks at EzineArticles.com, where someone claiming to be named John M. Milton submitted the rubbish titled "Exploration of Precious Stones by Means of Geophysical Methods."

Milton's post seems to be little more than thinly disguised click bait, although the term probably wasn't in use back in 2009 when he originally published this dreck. It seems John wanted people to visit a website named "glittering stones," which sold – you guessed it – "precious stones." If you wander through Archive.org long enough, you'll learn that the business (which also sold men's suits and kitchen cabinets at one time) was located somewhere near Birmingham, Alabama.

But that's neither here nor there: the reason we singled out Milton today is because of utter rubbish such as these statements:

"...exploration and demarcation of diamond-bearing Kimberli [sic] using both provincial and in depth geophysical techniques has been accomplished for decades." "Some applications are just at present being contemplated; delineation of entity crystals using Mega-Hertz seismic signals may be tested in the vicinity of future." "By means of geophysical ways to chart rocks that may possibly host gem-bearing zones..." "Applying far above the ground resolution methods to direct discovery of such zones." "Scientific Precious stone deposits are in general minute, hence requiring resolution that is not typically obtainable with many geophysical utensils."

At first, we weren't sure where Milton came up with the crap about "diamond-bearing Kimberli"; but by the time we had slogged through the load of bushwa John M. published in that article, we had figured out where he stole it. That last line – "not typically obtainable with many geophysical utensils" – was so obviously spun that we just started a Google search with the terms

resolution not typically obtainable with geophysical tools gemstones

By golly, we found Milton's original source: a Canadian Society of Exploration Geophysics article entitled Geophysical Methods Used in Exploration for Gemstones. Yep, it's all there in Frederick Cook's introduction – spun to within an inch of its life by some money-hungry dumbass who didn't know enough about the topic to know that "geophysical utensils" is so stupid it gave him away.

And that, dear readers, is why sparkly rock salesman John Milton is the not-so-proud recipient of our Dumbass of the Day award for today.

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