Toilet Repair Tips by Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXIV

modern toilet valve

Sometimes when our staffers gambol through the fertile fields of the local content farms, they get the distinct impression that there are people who will write bullshit about any topic as long as they can pick up a few pennies for minimal effort. The worst are, of course, the ones who stuffed their content with keywords (even though Google has long been onto this supposed "one tiny trick") even while knowing little or nothing about the topic at hand. One of the worst sites for this rubbish – maybe even worse than eHow – is the site EzineArticles.com. Despite their claim that "EzineArticles.com brings real-world experts and ezine publishers together"...really, WTF does that even mean?... most of their content is dreck like the Lora Davis article, "Toilet Repair Tips."

Fracking for the Dummy Committee

To the "other end" of the rock?

It's been said that the moose is a deer designed by a committee; a reference to the animal's somewhat bizarre appearance... although no one ever chased by a 1200-pound animal that can run 35 MPH is concerned about its appearance! But we digress. The point being, we suspect, that something created by most committees is going to look substandard at best. That just might be the problem with content written by Paul Mike John of EzineArticles.com: a committee approach combines the knowledge of the three guys¹ but instead exacerbates the combined ignorance. Just look at "Fracking for Oil: How Does It Work?" and you'll see what we mean.

Fake Nailer Reviews by Dummies

Wire-collated nail coil

Some of the staffers here at the Antisocial Network wrote at one time or another for review websites like Epinions.com, and they are all well aware of the "anything with a cord or a battery" mentality of fake reviewers. The idea is that reviews of expensive items like appliances, cameras, and power tools paid far better than reviews of music or books; which meant that the less scrupulous contributors were prone to exaggerating a) their experience and b) their expertise. One of the more egregious cases of fakers we've found is James K. Blake of EzineArticles.com, who pounded out 309 "reviews" for the website in about ten months (dumping out as many as twenty per day), more than 200 of them for power tools. If they all suck as much as "Nailing Made Simpler With The Hitachi NV75AG Framing Coil Nailer" (and the ones we're read do), you'd be wise to avoid his "work."

Soil Samples for Dummies

soil sample collection

In keeping with the theme, established yesterday, of taking a few days off from "picking on" one-time eHow.com contributions; we've headed elsewhere again today. Truth be told, we don't visit EzineArticles.com all that often, mostly because it's so jammed with rubbish... but every once in a while you have to take one for the team. That's the main reason that we sent some poor staffer to the site, and that's why he returned a few minutes later with "Why Soil Samples Are Important," as envisioned by Kum Martin.

All About Agriculture, the Dummy Version

Offspring of hybrid plants

Every once in a while, one of the staff stumbles upon a post written by a freelancer who was clearly just throwing words at the page. The prose may appear to make sense, but anything beyond a cursory glance will reveal that the author had abso-friggin'-lutley no idea what he or she was pretending to talk about. That's why we picked today's nominee on the basis of the post he barfed up on EzineArticles.com, "Increase Your Harvests Multi-Fold With Non-Hybrid Seeds." Let's welcome James K. Blake back to the podium.

Drip Irrigation for Dummies

drip irrigation drippers

The staffers at world HQ of the Antisocial Network have recently been working in the "community garden" in preparation for spring planting. The biggest task is refurbishing the drip irrigation system for the raised garden beds, so it was with some interest that the gardeners among us read through the EzineArticles.com post by returning DotD Shalini Madhav (sometimes known as "dbslinks"). We were more than a little interested to see what the Bangladeshi freelancer had to say on the topic of, "Steps To Install A Drip Irrigation System." We weren't disappointed – if by "disappointed" you mean, "Didn't find anything that contributed to the stupidification of the internet."

Film Cameras for Dummies

film vs. digital

There are some freelancers who are irritating and some who are downright abhorrent. Today's is at the abhorrent end of the scale, a freelancer who claims the name Shalini Madhav (also known as Teresa Counts, A. J. Titu, or Francis Carlson; and probably others). A staffer first found her crapalicious content at EzineArticles.com, but noticed that she(?) had crossposted it to other sites... at least a dozen of them, we think. That's bad enough in and of itself, but the content is partially questionable and partially spun. Take a gander at some of the rubbish in her "The Advantages of Film Cameras in a Digital Age."

Garages and Garage Doors for Dummies

Garage design ideas

We spend a lot of time at the many former eHow websites, mainly because they're target-rich environments where (in theory) the content is on-point and isn't thinly-disguised advertising spun into English by greed-sucking pigs who aren't particularly familiar with that language. Then again, there are the other, smaller content farms where all of the above comes into play. We usually ignore them. Every once in a while, though, we reach out for their special flavor of dumbassery... and that's why we're here today: meet Lora Davis of EzineArticles.com and her post, "Garage Door Designs."

Forstner Bit Basics for Dummies

Forstner bit

The staffers find it amusing to read through some of the dross posted by the world's freelancers, especially those who are just trying to make a buck instead of actually be... informative. We guess that's the word. Those are the ones who know little or nothing about their topic, but forge ahead anyway and drop in a few basic mistakes along the way. take, for instance EzineArticles.com contributor Shalini Madhav and her attempt to tell us, "Everything You Need to Know About Forstner Bits."

Fracking Sand, the Dummy Version

Frac sand (top), low-quality
sand (bottom)

From time to time we like to dip our research toes in the murky waters of sites heavily populated by content spinners and ESL freelancers. Bubblews and PersonaPaper are both dead now, but (for some unknown reason) EzineArticles.com and Wizzley.com live on. It's at EzineArticles.com that we found the interestingly-named Paul Mike John and his (their?) somewhat bizarre take on the sand mined for use in hydraulic fracturing, which he called "Mini Diamonds: What Is Frac Sand?"

Scrap Gold for Dummies

There are some content farms we don't get to as often as we should, one of which is a site called Wizzley.com. Most of that particular farm's content appears to comprise fake reviews (at least what we've seen of it in the past). but we happened to stumble over a "helpful" piece posted by a repeat DotD who goes by the handle of Mary F. Supposedly Mary's from Oz, but... Whatever the case, we're pretty certain that Mary's take on "Scrap Gold Prices" suffers from a serious deficit of common sense and knowledge.

Dog Training for Dummies

dog training

Here at Antisocial Network World Headquarters, we generally share floor space with not one but two largish dogs; both of whom quite frankly rank above the interns in the office pecking order. Even though the staff as a collective body has plenty to say about the care and raising of canines, we rarely feature freelance bushwa we've turned up about dogs. Today's post, however, bucks that particular trend. Let's see what returning DotD Mary Riverstone (aka Greeshma Justin) has to say in his/her/its EzineArticles.com post, "A Few Useful Tips for Dog Training."

Baseball Pins for Dummy Collectors

1980 Winter Olympics pin

Our research team members come up with really weirdest crap at times, but perhaps the best of the best (or is it worst of the worst?) are the content-farm posts freelancing non-English speakers have cobbled together in a desperate attempt to pick up a few US dollars. We've already featured one of them, an EzineArticles.com contributor using the pseudonym Mary Riverstone (perhaps really someone named Greeshma Justin) – and she's back for her third appearance with "Baseball Trading Pins - The Color of Enthusiasm and Spirit!"

Bogus Saw Reviews for Dummy Carpenters

Bosch worksite table saw

Some, although unfortunately not all, of our DotD candidate posts include what the author seems to think are references to back up their statements. Whenever possible, we follow these references to their source to determine whether the original is full of crap or the freelancer in question simply can't reword useful information and make sense. Every once in a while, though... and today's one of those "once in a while" occasions. So let's meet freelancer James K. Blake and his EzineArticles.com post, "A Cut Above: The Bosch 4100 Worksite Table Saw With Gravity Rise Stand."

Wood Veneer, a Dummy's Definition

Different wood veneering techniques

We're not certain why an Indian freelancer whose real name is (supposedly) Greeshma Justin would choose the pen name Mary Riverstone. We also aren't certain why Mary, as we'll call her, decided she was qualified to write about woodworking. We don't think so, given that we've already called her out for a ridiculous post about mortising. That was only one of seven posts on the topic Riverstone wrote; today's DotD nominee is more from Mary and EzineArticles.com, "Veneering Wood."

Gears for the Cycling Dummy... Again

bicycle gear combinations

Remember the old joke about the patient who tells his doctor, "Doc, it hurts when I do this"? And the medic says, "Well, stop doing it"? We decided to take a day off from the Leaf Group/eHow.com family and really put a hurt on our collective brain by visiting EzineArticles.com. That venue is where we encountered Barbara Greene. Barb cranked out 43 sports-related articles at Ezine (11 of which included the word "venue" in the title). If they're all as bogus as "Tips On How To Use Bicycle Gears Efficiently For A Better And Faster Ride," then Barbie has some 'splainin' to do...

Bicycle Gears for Dummies

Cargo bike

Our research team members go about their business in different ways: some stick to a group of topics, some stick to a group of sites, and a few follow serial dumbass freelancers from site to site. Today's DotD nominee was turned up by a staffer who's a cyclist; a cyclist who was flabbergasted by the strange "information" published in the EzineArticles.com post "How to Use Bicycle Gears Properly." The flabbergasted part is because author Joan Bishop Denizot says she started her own bicycle company.

Bosch Miter Saws for Dummy Carpenters

This is not James K Blake with a Bosch 5312

From time to time we take so-called mommy-bloggers to task for some of those obviously fake reviews written just to get free products and generate a few more eyeballs for their blogs. Of course, not all fake reviews are written by mommies; there are also daddy-bloggers out there plugging products. This big difference is that most of their products are ruinously expensive, so instead of hoping for a freebie they do what James K. Blake of EzineArticles.com did: just copy other people's thoughts into a post like "The Unique Features of The Bosch 5312 Compound Miter Saw Unveiled!" [the excitement is all Blake's].

Flagstone, the Clueless Version

These flagstones are slate, not sandstone

For some reason that no one here at the Antisocial network understands, a surprising number of self-appointed freelancers seem to be confused by the difference between the specific and the general. It happens a lot when people start writing about topics they aren't familiar with, especially if the topic is even the least bit "technical." Take today's DotD nominee, for example: Sharon Bellissimo of EzineArticles.com decided to share her own "Facts about Flagstone" with her readers. Too bad she didn't know anything before she started...

Geothermal Energy for Dummies

simple geothermal system

For some weird reason, all the Leaf Group niche sites are offline today, so we've dug into our (lengthy) file of DotD candidates to find something from another fact -lite or -free website. Fortunately, that's not very hard when there's still content available at EzineArticles.com, content like the rubbish published by Mahfuza Ferdausi Urpa that he called "What Secrets Are Hidden in Our Planet About Geothermal History?"