Monday, July 24, 2017

Pavers for a Dummy Patio

patio pavers arent six inches thick
Patio pavers aren't six inches thick
We find it amusing sometimes – well, a little amusing and a little infuriating, to be honest – when we find "advice" on how to carry out a simple DIY project that was written by someone who had never carried out that same project. To be honest, we can't be sure that Janet Beal had never built a patio out of pavers before she wrote "How to Level Out the Ground for Patio Pavers" for eHow.com (and Leaf Group moved it to Hunker.com), but if she did, she sure didn't follow her own directions...

Now, we should be fair and say that Beal managed to find a set of instructions somewhere – something like the widely-available procedure written by the people at Home Depot – and managed to perform a quality job of copy, reword, and paste. It's in the details, however, that Janet's unfamiliarity with the project start cropping up. For instance, Beal claims that
"For pavers to drain, ground should be level but with a slope of 1 inch to every 4 feet of length, to facilitate drainage."
     Besides its redundancy, Janet misstates: this isn't so the pavers will drain –- water will penetrate the sand-filled gaps between them – it's so the cleared area slopes away from the house. Oh, and one inch in eight feet should do the trick. Another example: Beal tells her readers to use stakes and string to mark the area, and then
"Slide the carpenter's level along the string all the way around the rectangle."
Due to her unfamiliarity with the project and the necessary tools, Janet apparently doesn't know that the device she cites is a line level, not a carpenter's level. What good would come of sliding a 3- or 4-foot level along a flexible string? Idiot. She even tells people that,
"On a bubble-level, the bubble will be slightly off-center on the slope. Mark the level gauge with tape or a marker at the off-center point, so that you can check for a consistent slope across the area. You are measuring for a level slope, not just a flat surface."
First, a line level – the correct tool – has grade markings for just this purpose and second, you're measuring for an even slope on a flat surface, not a "level slope"; which, frankly, is an oxymoron. More evidence that Beal's out of her comfort zone is her unfamiliarity with the pavers themselves:
"Calculate the depth of your paving project by adding base drainage gravel (4 inches), base sand (3 inches) and the depth of the pavers (6 inches), a total of 13 inches..."
Pavers are six inches thick? Is Janet kidding??? Apparently yes, not to mention that she wants her readers to place each paver and then, individually, use a plate compactor to level them out...
"Set pavers gently on the sand. Press down firmly with the plate compactor."
No, Beal knows nothing about how to perform this project. What she does know how to do is fool eHow content editors into okaying bogus instructions poorly reworded from an authoritative site and then paying her for sloppy work. Once again we don't know who really deserves the Dumbass of the Day award, the writer or the editor, but we'll give it to Beal on the basis of her hubris.
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DDIY - LANDSCAPING

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