Stupid Questions Answered by Dummies

cover a brick fireplace

We're often amazed at some of  the bizarre DIY questions people ask on the internet... but that's only until we look at the kinds of answers come of our self-appointed "expert" freelancers concoct. A case in point would be the quite ridiculous question, "How Do I Drywall Over a Brick Fireplace?" snagged out of the ether by eHow's title-grabbers, and the even more ridiculous answer on Hunker.com that sprang from the keyboard of one Josie Myers. It's a pretty safe bet that the OQ just wanted to dress up a boring brick fireplace surround, not "cover" the whole thing – but you go with your gut at eHow.com, even when your gut knows squat!

Myers claimed to have gotten her information from an offline book, where we're pretty sure the writer (who claims to own an MA in English) didn't find this information. Oh, sure, there was probably something about installing drywall over a brick wall, but over a fireplace? Bushwa.

Myers starts by warning her readers that

"You must ensure that the surface you are planning on drywalling will not be exposed to heat. If you have a brick wall that is an active part of the chimney, drywall is not recommended because it is a paper-based product..."

...well, actually, it's a gypsum-based product with paper sheathing, but that's a mere quibble. No, the idiocy of suggesting that the OQ wanted to drywall over an active fireplace is rather... stupid. Anyway, Josie struts her stuff with suggestions for installing the sheetrock: "There are two basic methods used to put drywall over brick. The first is a bit more complicated, but will give you more consistent results. Screw 1-by-2 furring strips into the brick using masonry anchors... [or] If your brick has a relatively smooth surface and has not been painted over, you can easily glue drywall onto the brick... Apply a generous amount of adhesive to the back of the drywall and lift it into place."

Aren't you forgetting something, Josie? like, we dunno, the big rectangular opening? We can't imagine what a mess there would be if someone happened to bump the unbacked section of drywall after your glue dried! Myers says to finish the drywall the way eHowians often do (thanks to their lack of experience with the stuff):

"Use a metal or plastic corner bead to round off the edges of your new fireplace and make a seam with your existing wall. Finish the project with drywall tape and spackle as you would with any new drywall project."

If only mudding and taping drywall were so simple, not to mention that you don't use both corner bead and tape on the same surface, idiot.

If Myers had actually found instructions for this job, someone with experience might have suggested framing a new wall one stud thick from floor to ceiling, including insulation over the opening. But, then, we think only some sort of moron would try this task anyway, and only a returning Dumbass of the Day would give such lousy instructions for pulling it off.

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