Thursday, August 3, 2017

Door Handles for Dummies

Remove door rosette
One of our Antisocial Network staffers recently finished a home remodeling job -- he gutted the master bath to the studs and replaced almost everything, including the doors and their hardware. Like most of our staffers, he did a little pre- and post-project surfing looking for hints and tips. That's where he ran across an Ezine Article penned by Karen Hughes (not Bush 43's advisor, we don't think) that asked the eternal question, "Changing Door Hardware - Can You Handle it?" Well our staffer could, but we don't think Hughes had the chops...

When we see a title like that one, we expect some discussion of the actual project. Not so with Hughes, whose sole mention of the process boils down to,
"If you do not know how to change a handle you might need to call somebody that does or you might just call in a specialist. In most cases you will be able to do it yourself. If you are just changing the handle all you will probably need (for a simple handle) is a screwdriver."
     Oddly enough, that's fairly close to correct, though in our staffer's experience it's never that easy. Nothing is ever that easy... However, we notice that – if, as Hughes says later,
"Changing a handle is one of the easiest jobs in the world today. It is effortless and quick so what's stopping you?"
What's stopping us is that Karen says absolutely nothing about how to change door hardware, just how to choose door hardware. Oh, and what she does say? It's a mixture of common sense and bull-puckey. The bull-puckey part is,
"Most handles are powerful enough to resist all force applied to them. This is because the main purpose of implementing one in a door was not to look good. Nowadays this esthetical need to look good can even be seen in this situation..."
...which is partially false ("powerful enough to resist all force applied to them") and, to be honest, makes no sense.

When we want information about changing door hardware, especially when it comes to jobs that require more than a screwdriver, we're gonna ask a handyperson -- not an "an interior decor consultant," regardless of how "many years experience" this particular Dumbass of the Day may have.
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