Large Frames for the Dummy Carpenter

Measuring for frame molding

Over a couple of years of calling out online freelancers for faking it, we've noticed that one way to identify bogus instructions is to look at how the writer addresses the more difficult details of a procedure. Someone who's done it knows where the "gotchas" are, while someone just doing a copy-reword-paste job often leaves out the stuff they don't understand. Here's an example: eHow.com contributor B. T. Alo and his pretty much worthless instructions at OurPastimes.com about "How to Make a Large Picture Frame."¹

We called them "pretty much worthless" because Alo (not necessarily his real name) puts all his energy into explaining how to making mitered corners. Duh. That, dear B. T., is the easy part: what you ignored is the hard part. That's pretty obvious, given that step one in your instructions is

"Cut two pieces of frame molding to the length of the desired frame, and two to the height. Cut the ends of the pieces of molding to 45-degree angles on a miter saw..."

...which leaves us with two questions: the simpler of them is, "Are you trying to say cut to length and then cut the miters? Because that's how you worded it."

A much more important question, and one that the OQ very likely needed help with, is "How do you measure for the sides?" We see that nowhere in the post is there a hint that Alo considered this question; which, to be sure, is critical to the sizing of a frame (for instructions, see this YouTube video). In case you didn't know, the picture, mat, and glass sit in a rabbet on the back of the molding; which means that you have to allow for the width of that groove when you calculate the lengths of the frame pieces. Where does B. T. say that? Nowhere! Oh, well, he does tell us,

"If frame molding is unavailable, you can make your own using a router. Create the decorative side as desired on the front of the lumber -- 2-by-4 inch lumber is ideal -- and route a groove on the inside edge of all the frame planks around 1/2 inch wide and 1/4 inch deep for housing the glass and mounting board for framing..."

...which suggests that he might be aware of the rabbet. On the other hand, the moron thinks you should make frames out of 2-by-4s, thinks 2-by-4s are "planks," and thinks the verb for for using a router is "route," which it ain't. And here you were wondering why we decided this yutz deserved another Dumbass of the Day award: 'nuff said!

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_4863031_large-picture-frame.html

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