Driving Stick Shifts for Dummies

10 o'clock???

Some of the staffers here at the Antisocial Network are old enough to remember when you could get just about any new car with either an automatic or a manual transmission. That's no longer the case: many models are available only with some form of automatic tranny (including the CVT). Whether that's the reason why so few people know how to drive a stick shift or the small number of qualified drivers is the reason that few cars have manuals is debatable. What's not debatable is that if you want to learn "Step-by-Step Instructions On Driving a Stick Shift,"¹ you could do a lot better than read the tripe John Mack published for ItStillRuns.com (originally at eHow.com, of course).

Maybe Mack's driven a stick shift or two in his time, though our money's on "he just reworded someone else's instructions). Whichever it is, the philosophy grad's instructions are a tad on the "lacking" side. Check out some of his... less useful... content:

"If you do not press the clutch as you start the ignition, the car will stall out. Make sure the stick is in the neutral gear.": 1) Unless the vehicle is truly ancient, there's an interlock that requires that the clutch be depressed to engage the starter, 2) you don't need to be in neutral to start a manual transmission, and 3) neutral is not a "gear." "First gear will usually be located at 10 o'clock on the gear shift.": WTF does that mean? Is Mack trying to describe a typical shift pattern? "Depress the clutch slightly and as you do this, lightly press your right foot on the accelerator pedal.": John apparently doesn't know the difference between "depress" and "release." Dumbass. "As the rpms increase and you hear the engine get louder, you will eventually hit the friction point where the rpms will decrease. Just before getting to this point is when you want to shift into second gear.": Since John copied the "friction point" business from his sole reference, it stands to reason that he doesn't understand that this is not the point at which "you want to shift into second gear." No, it's the point at which you begin accelerating in first gear! Idiot.

By this point, anyone trying to follow Mack's instructions will be grinding gears and wearing out the clutch... and John's instructions for shifting through the gears boil down to "Repeat Steps 4 and 5 for shifting into third, fourth and fifth gears." Let's hope the OQ wasn't hoping to drive a three-, four-, or six-speed manual transmission. Be that as it may, Mack finishes off with some pretty suspect tips:

• "Remember to fully press the clutch pedal when you are at a stop." – Many automotive engineers suggest that you shift into neutral and release the clutch while stopped for any significant period, which reduces wear on the throw-out bearing (to which Mack says, "WTF is a throw-out bearing?")
• "Never skip a gear when shifting gears." Why not? If you talk to professional drivers, you'll find that they do this all the time. Sure, not in a three- or probably four-speed, but a six-speed? No big deal.

Whatever the case, either Mack has limited experience with manual transmissions and can't put it in words or – more likely – he doesn't know how to drive one. Either way, though, he's prime Dumbass of the Day material.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_8006249_stepbystep-instructions-driving-stick-shift.html

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