Tractors for Dummy City Dwellers

Ford 8n tractor

If you aren't old enough to remember the show yourself, ask Mom and Dad (or Grandpa) about  the '60s sitcom "Green Acres": a city slicker decides he'd like to be a farmer, complete with a cast of tobacco-spittin' rustics and a Gabor sister. Apparently the Netflix version reached the home of WritEdge author Ellina James (real name Shreya Vishonoi; she also "wrote" at Seekyt), who shared with her readers something she claimed was "A Brief Introduction to Tractor Accessories for Better Farming."¹ Yeah, sure...

James, who elsewhere claimed to have a marketing MA from the London School of Economics, waxes ecstatic about tractors as if they had just been introduced to the world economy:

"The increasing yields from agriculture are the direct result of the high quality and power of today’s tractors that are used in farms all across the country. The use of tractors on farms allows multiples of increases in the productivity of farms, thus tractors are usually the most common tool found on farms."

Oddly enough, one of our staffers visited the Indiana State Fair this past summer, where she marveled over a collection of antique farm implements that included farm tractors from the nineteenth century... so much for Ellina's wonderment.

The vast majority of James' article is ripped off from a PDF describing how to attach a stabilizer bar to a Ford N tractor — not exactly one of "today's tractors," given that Ford stopped making them in the 1950s. But we digress...

James prattled incessantly about the three-point hitch as if it were a new invention, even though the "accessory" has been part of the tractor for a century or so. She also blathered for a while about other "accessories," including a short list of attachments:

"Carry-alls... The use of these items allows farmers to carry otherwise heavy items with ease behind their tractors" Could she mean a wagon? "Mowers are an essential tool at farms which are often the backdrop of a great deal of vegetation, wild grass and trees. Mowers are needed to get rid of wild vegetation and the ability to attached them to the back of a tractor allows them to the driven to parts of the farm some distance from where such mowers are usually kept such as barns or machine shops." Apparently she doesn't realize that the mower runs from the tractor's PTO. Dumbass. "Rear Blades are useful at a farm for things such as moving soil and gravel. Most rear blades come with features to enhance their use, this means they can be tilted and adjusted to any angle so desired. They drastically cut down the time required at a farm when it is required to move any obstacle in the farm or when earth needs to be moved to a desirable location at the farm." Frankly, we have no earthly idea what she's talking about.

It is, however, pretty obvious that James has confused a garden tractor with a farm tractor. Nowhere does she mention plowing, planting, cultivating, or harvesting; a dead giveaway she has never seen a tractor working on a farm. You know what that makes her? Sure: a dumbass who's just pumping out useless content in hopes of picking up a few pennies. In other words, a Dumbass of the Day.

¹ This website is now defunct, and the post was never archived by the Wayback machine at archive.org. Fortunately, no loss...

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DD - AGRICULTURE