Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Acidity and Wetlands for Dummies

wetlands
Help filter water and mitigate flooding
The Antisocial Network staffers who wander the web in search of DotD candidates often find that the less knowledgeable a self-appointed freelancer is about a subject, the more likely he or she is to misinterpret a question about that topic. A case in point is eHow contributor Nicole Papagiorgio (six-time winner of the DotD), who we found attempting to explain the "Factors that Affect the pH of Water in Wetlands" at Sciencing.com.

Apparently hampered by her failure to take basic science courses while getting that AA in "communications," Papagiorgio motored straight to environmental damage. According to Nicole,
"Like all water, wetland water has a pH measurement... When the pH changes, it can kill... plants and animals as well as prevent the wetlands from functioning. There are three main factors that can affect the pH of water in wetlands."
We find that passage uneducated and, well, stupid. Water "has a pH measurement"? No, Nicole, it has a pH – that's not a "measurement," it's an attribute. Oh, and by the way? the pH has to change significantly to "kill" flora and fauna, since most organisms can survive in a range of pH. But you wouldn't know that, would you? Let's see what Nicole does know: her list of "three main factors":
  1. "Waste Water: Waste water is the main factor that can alter the pH of any wetland... For example, water in large cities is often treated to be "soft," or more acidic than in rural areas. This water has a very low pH, or high acid level, raising the pH of a wetland." – Wait: introducing low-pH water to a wetland will raise the pH of the water already there? How does that happen???
  2. "Minerals: Minerals that exist in the soil surrounding the wetlands, such as salt, can affect the pH of wetlands. While most wetlands are acclimated to the minerals in the surrounding soil, human development, mining, construction and industrial operations can put different minerals into the soil that don't exist there naturally." – Wetlands are "acclimated to the minerals in the surrounding soil"? We're pretty sure acclimatization is restricted to organizations. Perhaps the term "equilibrium" belongs there somewhere... not to mention that human activity is more likely to change the chemistry of runoff water than "soil."
  3. "Acid Rain: Unlike waste water and dissolved minerals which can cause the pH of a wetland to fluctuate any which way, acid rain will only lower the pH, or make the water in the wetland more acidic." – Duh. That's the opposite of what you said about waste water, BTW... "Acid rain is caused by compounds in the atmosphere that react with one another to form acids, which then fall back to the earth as rain. Some of these compounds include sulfur and nitrogen." – Need we say more, dummy?
Papagiorgio's failure to understand even the most basic concepts about wetlands is apparent. Although she blithely stated in her introduction that "Like all water, wetland water has a pH," Nicole failed to mention what affects the natural pH of the wetlands. She completely ignores the pH of the stream water, which is affected by the geology of its drainage basin, and the affects of organic decomposition within the wetland itself. To be blunt, Nicole knew nothing about wetlands, but decided she could fake it well enough for eHow.com. She didn't fake it well enough for us, though, which is why Papagiorgio is our Dumbass of the Day.     
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