Wooden Octagons for Dummies

octagon birdhouse construction

Several Antisocial Network staffers make little wood craft projects for around the house, and one of them is also an armchair birdwatcher. That means she sits in her chair and watches the birds at the feeders on her deck... When it comes to building birdhouses, they've learned that the critters have fairly exacting standards, so they typically research the plans at a site like Audubon.org. It's for darned sure, though, that eHowian Patrick Williamson didn't do much research, however, when creating the plans he barfed up for "How to Build an Eight-Sided Birdhouse"¹ (now at GardenGuides.com sans his byline).

We aren't absolutely sure because Williamson didn't include a reference, but we suspect he simply cribbed some plans for a regular rectangular birdhouse and doubled the number of sides. [Author's note: you can find a discussion of building an octagonal birdhouse here] We say that because, in almost 500 words (479, to be precise), Patrick never once uses the word "miter" or the phrase "at 22½ degrees"! In other words, all you do (according to Williamson) is

1. Measure out eight pieces of wood 6 inches high and 4 inches wide.
2. Cut out those pieces of wood with a scroll saw.
3. Take one side panel and put a thick layer of glue down the vertical edge.
4. Stand a second side panel up next to the first and push the vertical edge into the glue you put on the first piece. The two pieces should stand up together, like playing cards.

Besides questioning why Williamson specifies a scroll saw, we have to wonder just how stupid is the guy if Patrick thinks you can glue eight boards together in an octagon when all the edges are right angles! The edges have to be mitered, moron!

Williamson also skimps on measurements: one instruction is to

"Measure out two octagon-shaped pieces of wood with each side of the octagon being 4 inches long."

Sadly, that's not very helpful. What would be helpful is to mention that the apothem of an octagon with sides 4" long is 9.65 inches, give or take, so your "piece of wood" will need to be at least 20 inches across! Good luck finding that...
And then there are the holes:

"Drill a hole in one of the eight pieces of wood where the door will be. Use a scroll saw to cut the hole larger. Drill a second hole below the door one 1/2 inch in diameter, for the perch."

Ummm, Patrick? A) you're supposed to specify hole size depending on the bird species; B) you seem to have confused a scroll saw with a jig saw, and C) that's a mighty big perch! (not to mention a mighty big birdhouse!)

No, folks, it's pretty obvious that Williamson, despite his management degree; doesn't know jack about birds, knows nothing about woodworking, and probably hasn't thought about geometry since eighth grade. Patrick's alleged "plans" for an octagonal birdhouse are, to be blunt, worthless. Now you know why he's the Dumbass of the Day, right?

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_5017667_build-eightsided-birdhouse.html

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