Forstner Bits for Dummies

A Forstner bit in a drill press

It's been a while since the Antisocial Network team has nailed someone for a fake tool review, but that doesn't mean we don't turn them up on a near daily basis. After all, the damned things are everywhere on the 'net. Some are the "I didn't use it but my hubby did" type, and some are of the "I heard you can make lots of money reviewing tools" type. Today's entry, compliments of a heretofore untapped source of dumbassery, is that latter type. It's "Forstner Bit Reviews," posted by some guy claiming the name Tested_to_Destruction at Wizzley.com. Oh, joy, another content farm to mine...

The dead giveaway that Tested is full of malarkey is his short description, in which he claimed that

"A forstner bit is the best woodworking tool to use for pocket and overlap holes. "

Ummm, no: those aren't "pocket holes," dude: a pocket hole drill bit is an entirely different tool! Meanwhile, Tested claimed to have shelled out somewhere in the area of $570 for four sets of bits (ranging from $35 to $370 at Amazon) and one single bit. He also claimed to have tested all of them, informing readers that he had

"...tested the bits on both soft and hard woods..."

...along with other throwaway verbiage such as

"...though the wood wasn't the softest I could have used, the bits delivered the kind of result needed in a professional environment..."

Interestingly enough, Tested pretended to have tested a 16-piece, $370 set of bits from Freud, a subset of which are in the AN woodshop. You would think that in reviewing them he might have mentioned that these particular bits are HSS (high-speed steel)  as opposed to, say, carbide-tipped – but no. Still, he claims that they're "the right choice for the professional woodworker." Ya gotta wonder about that...
Of a set of CMT metric bits, Tested claims that

"Metric sizes can be a bit hard to find and the set covers the five most common sizes."

The latter is true (though TtD doesn't bother to mention that the set ranges from 15 to 35mm); the former not so much. What's amusing is that he also "tested" a single bit, the CMT 537.350.31, that just happens to be the largest size bit in this set... So much for harvesting the five top-selling Forstner bits from the Amazon listings: at least check for duplicates, dumbass!

The dead giveaway is that Mr. Destruction called all five of his listings "best-sellers." Well, that, and his back catalog at Wizzley includes such "best-sellers" as comparison of $377 worth of multimeters, or more than $1000 worth of chop saws (three of which are power miter boxes and two of which are configured for use with an abrasive wheel). It's pretty obvious that here's a guy who heard you can make lots of money reviewing tools and just Harrieted¹ the blurbs: classic Dumbass of the Day work!

¹ The late Harriet Klausner was probably the most prolific book reviewer ever at Amazon, posting scores of reviews per day – most of which were just reworded blurbs from the covers. No one ever knew why... Her prolific reviewing did, however, earn her a Wikipedia entry.

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