Elapsed Time for Dummies

Digital clock face

The research staffers here at the Antisocial Network mentally file their "finds" into a loose group of categories: some potential DotDs earn nomination for failing to proofread their content, others for failure of logic. By far the largest category, especially when the subject is technical, is that of failure to understand the question. Today's nominee comes from that category, where eHowian Teresa J. Siskin managed to botch the incredibly simple "How to Calculate Elapsed Time" (now found at Sciencing.com¹).

Siskin's fanciful take on the question addresses taking the train between Paris and Nice, France:

"...if your train from Paris leaves at 9:15 and arrives in Nice, France, at 13:45, you can determine the time elapsed by subtracting 9:15 from 13:45, resulting in four hours and 30 minutes..."

Well sure, Teresa J! That's exactly how it works... NOT. The fact that Siskin's answer is accurate notwithstanding, her failure to – as fifth-grade teachers everywhere demand – "show her work" pretty much qualifies her answer for its DotD nomination right there. Never one to shirk her minimum word count requirement, however, our art historian expands on her "answer" by blathering about what she calls the "American clock":

"If your train leaves Paris at 9:15 a.m. and arrives in Nice at 1:45 p.m. and you are using a 12-hour clock, you cannot simply subtract start time from end time, as this would result in an erroneously negative elapsed time."

According to Teresa, you must break the time into pre- and post-noon periods, calculate both, and add the two parts. Total words 255, total answer about 20%. We wonder how Siskin would handle a train through the Chunnel, which arrives in a different time zone? What about a flight across the international date line, which arrives on a different day? How about times measured in seconds? How would Teresa calculate elapsed time for a Trans-Siberian Railway train that left Vladivostok at 02052005:13:05 and arrived in Moscow at 02132005:06:55:13? We sure hope she remembers that the train crossed eight time zones...¹

No, Siskin doesn't answer the question. She never mentions breaking days into hours and hours into minutes (much less minutes into seconds); just prefacing her "explanation" with the caveat that it's only good for "events less than 24 hours in length" (she doesn't even say"duration"). We consider that total failure to comprehend the question, also known as prime Dumbass of the Day material.

¹ The original has been sent to the rewrite team by Leaf Group (we'll get to the new version later), but it can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_7529536_calculate-elasped-time.html
² Off the top of our collective head, the train required 8 days, 50 minutes, 8 seconds travel time. We did it with Excel, if anyone cares...

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