Homemade Bike Racks for Dummies

Hitch-mounted bicycle rack

Even though lots of people think that something homemade is called "jerry-rigged," the term us really "jury-rigged," and it comes from sailing. Go ahead, look it up... Jerry or jury, though, the key to doing the task right is knowing what you're talking about. That last most certainly does not apply to Charlie Gaston of Trails.com, a sometimes eHowian who somehow came up with a set of instructions (we use the word loosely) for "How to Build a Bicycle Carrier."¹

Naturally, our first thought was, "What did the OQ mean by 'carrier'?" It could refer to a trunk or roof rack, but it could easily refer to the pannier racks mounted above the rear wheel. Gaston decided on a rack for transporting a bike on a car or truck... we think. Charlie then proceeded to vomit up instructions chock full of "measure this," "weld that," "metal tube," etc. Our chief problem with Gaston's plans, however, is that we simply can't figure out what it is they build. Her reference, by the way, is no help: it's for a completely different rack. The reference is for a roof rack, but what Charlie describes,

"..will lock in place at the rear of your vehicle (not on the roof)..."

Unfortunately, Charlie's instructions are – at best – ambiguous. Take, for instance, the very first measurement she says to make:

"Determine the length requirement for the carrier... The length you choose must be sufficient enough to allow your pedals to rest just beyond the bumper of your vehicle. Add 12 inches to this measurement..."

WTF does "rest just beyond the bumper" mean, anyway? Whatever the case, you end up welding together something from "metal tubing" (of unspecified dimensions) that sort of looks like this:

• The long piece of "tubing" described above
• A piece of "tubing" 3½ feet long welded to the first in an L shape
• A 14-inch piece of "tubing" welded to the "top of the 'L.'"
• Two "4-inch arms" that you weld "at the ends of the top mounting brace" – this is Gaston's first mention of a "mounting brace" – and a "lower arm" (ditto) with a hole of unspecified diameter drilled in it.

We though we'd figured out what Charlie tried to describe, but her instructions are so poorly worded that we pretty much gave up. All in all, we figured she needed something like 12 feet of "metal tubing" that, if it is to fit in a hitch receiver, must be about 2" square. With luck, you can get that for about $40, and it'll carry more than one bike. You also need a hitch receiver and hitch pin, not to mention welding equipment for these "plans." In other words, Gaston's "instructions" are completely worthless for the vast majority of people, not to mention costing more than your basic trunk rack. Small wonder Charlie's collecting her seventh Dumbass of the Day award!

Oddly enough, if she'd just reworded the '80s-era reference she found, it might have been useful... assuming your car was built before the '90s.

¹ This website was sold and the new owners (wisely) deleted all the user-generated content, but you can still read Gaston's post using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   trails.com/how_39754_build-bicycle-carrier.html

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