Bosch Miter Saws for Dummy Carpenters

This is not James K Blake with a Bosch 5312

From time to time we take so-called mommy-bloggers to task for some of those obviously fake reviews written just to get free products and generate a few more eyeballs for their blogs. Of course, not all fake reviews are written by mommies; there are also daddy-bloggers out there plugging products. This big difference is that most of their products are ruinously expensive, so instead of hoping for a freebie they do what James K. Blake of EzineArticles.com did: just copy other people's thoughts into a post like "The Unique Features of The Bosch 5312 Compound Miter Saw Unveiled!" [the excitement is all Blake's].

Allegedly a Brit (though it's not obvious from his spelling); Blake did little more than reword some of a review he apparently wrote elsewhere, to which he linked, not once but twice, at the bottom of his article. We certainly hope he did more than just spout some measurements in that review, since that's pretty much what he did here. From James' "review," we learn such scintillating details as

• "This is an extra-ordinary tool [sic] with great performance and high efficiency" – We aren't really sure what "high efficiency" means in a miter saw; you?
• "Many reviewers have said that one has greater control over this tool when compared to other brands of compound miter saws that are available in the market today." – But what do you think, James?
• "Reviewers have also put it forward that it makes accurate and precise cutting on wood." – What's the difference between "accurate" and "precise," anyway?
• "The Bosch 5312 compound miter saw has a bevel locking lever on it, with a knob attached to it... The knob is used to help one choose from a variety of applications of use." – No, jackass, the bevel lock is used to set the bevel angle!

• "The base of this miter saw measure about 25 and a half inches. It also includes a built-in cast sliding." – A built-in what???
• "The ability of the saw to slide makes it easier when cutting long pieces of metal [sic]." – No, moron, a sliding miter saw can cut wider pieces of wood!
• "Another unique feature of the Bosch 5312 compound miter saw is the dual direction design of the rail. This enables a user to have control when working at a certain level to achieve accurate cuttings." – Say what, again???
• "...this miter saw has a vertical clamp which enables easy adjustment, something that is not found in many other miter saws." – We aren't sure 1) how having a vertical clamp "enables easy adjustment," but we know that workpiece clamps are common on both single- and dual-bevel miter saws.

Whoever this guy is, and it's not readily apparent he's a Brit (or even a native English speaker), it's a safe bet that he's never used a Bosch 5312 miter saw. Based on what he's written here (in one of the 300-plus Ezine Articles posts he wrote in eight months), we're pretty sure our Dumbass of the Day has never even used a power miter saw of any brand.

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