Weight Loss for Dummies

It's been a while since we came across the ridiculous prose that marks spun content but, then again, it's been a while since anyone here donned a metaphorical clothespin on the nose and took a look at Seekyt.com. Someone did, however, by plugging subduction site:seekyt.com into Google. Lo and behold, however, the one result had nothing to do with plate tectonics. Instead, it was "How to use meal replacement for Weight Loss," "written" – actually, cut-and-pasted from an internet spinning site – by "General Contributor" (the only author at Seekyt now); although the Wayback Machine says it was posted in 2015 or so by someone using the handle kenreVyes (sometimes known as Ken Reyes). The post, like all posts remaining on Seekyt, is now credited to "General Contributor."

Ken – we call him "Ken," although his name is far more likely to be Rajesh or Devi – claims to be "Working on position Assistant chief technologist in New Jersey Beer Company," a rather strange vocation for an expert on diet and weight loss. Whatever the case, weight loss and meal replacements are such broad categories that we couldn't find the original text; if it's even on-line any more. That being said, let's have a look and a few laughs at the ridiculous stupidification kenreVyes visited on the internet...

"There are an assortment of avenues that people may undertake on their crusade for weight subduction." "While diet pills are a beloved option..." "...the quantity of calories you administer to yourself needs to be less than the amount that are annihilated from the body." "If you choose to embark on this path, it is vital to certify that your shake has fiber, as well as protein concocted into it." "To safeguard yourself against the possible negative outcomes of actualizing themselves..." "...results will be experienced at their most sublime when regular physical exertion is incorporated into the daily routine..."

We'll try to "unspin" this bullshit below...

1. There are many ways people try to lose weight.
2. While diet pills are a popular option...
3. ...your caloric intake must be less than the calories you burn.
4. If you chose this  method, it is vital to ensure that your shake contains fiber and protein.
5. We have no friggin' idea.
6. ...you'll have the best results when you incorporate exercise into your daily routine.

Well, at least we think that's what the original said before our Dumbass of the Day got his grubby little hands on it.

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