Homemade Heat Tape for Dummies

Heat tape for water pipe

A common theme here at the Antisocial Network is finding a freelancer who lacks even the slightest grounding in a technical topic, but "writes to it" anyway. Sometimes the juxtaposition is merely stupid or funny, but in others the lack of know-how leads to an "answer" that is ridiculously incompetent; at the worst, downright dangerous. Today's nominee is one of the latter: she's theology student turned "creative writer" Andrea Helaine, whom we caught trying to explain making "Homemade Heat Tape" for Sciencing.com.

We'd give Helaine props for finding a reference for Homemade Heater Strips if it weren't for the fact that she obviously didn't read through the website or, if she did, just didn't understand it. Although Helaine opened by explaining that,

"Heat tape is used to prevent pipes and other exterior apparatus such as a waterer for poultry from freezing during the winter..." ...she somehow didn't realize that her reference was for a ve-e-e-ry specialized application: heat tape to wrap around the barrel of your telescope! No, our young freelancer instead dove deep to explain that you should make your heat tape using... 1-inch duct tape (Is there such a thing?) 1/2-inch rubber door gasket insulation 18 AWG solid hookup wire 330-ohm 1/2-watt resistors

Helaine wanted her instructees to build her version of "heat tape" by soldering one of the resistors every ⁵⁄₈ inch between two lengths of the 18-gauge wire. Well, we looked for those resistors online and you can buy them in bulk for anywhere from 7¢ to 26¢ each. If they're only 7¢ each, that's $1.33 per foot for the resistors alone. That doesn't even include the cost of the wire, tape, and insulation; let alone the time and labor invested. On the other hand, you can buy commercial heat tape to wrap your pipes for anywhere from one to three dollars per foot, including a built-in thermostat.

 
While we're at it, Andrea's version only runs on a 12-volt battery (the 18-ga wire pretty much precludes using household current) and therefore lacks not only a thermostat but also lacks a plug. For what it's worth, it's designed to run from a special controller (which you also have to buy). Oh, yeah, and Andrea didn't include the bold-face red-letter warning from the original site:

"These heaters are only for use on 12-Volt Battery or 13.8V Power Supply and require a controller  [underlining ours] to regulate the heat or they will generate too much heat and burn up."

For her complete and utter failure to understand the application for the plans she cribbed and for her willful ignorance of the possibility of disaster, we hereby award Helaine the honor of Dumbass of the Day, Dangerous Stupidity division.

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