Wire Mesh Fences for Dummies

Stretching a fence

The Antisocial Network staffers who patrol the web looking for likely DotD candidates come across some pretty silly notions on a regular basis. A lot of them stem from the freelancers' lack of even the basics of the topic they've chosen to cover, a situation that leads to often hilarious prose. Take, for instance, an article at HomeSteady.com called "How to Stretch Wire Mesh Fence," originally posted to eHow.com by returning DotD Louie Doverspike.

Based on Louie's post, it's pretty likely that the freelancer had never stretched wire mesh; and probably never performed any fencing at all (outside of an elective PE class, perhaps). Nevertheless, Doverspike dove right in... initially explaining that,

"...wire mesh fence is often seen as a temporary solution, as it tends to stretch and flex, which can make the fence snag."

We imagine he meant "sag" there, but one never knows. Anyhow... who says wire mesh is "temporary"? It depends on your definition of wire mesh: it could be chicken wire, hardware cloth, horse wire, or even chain-link. Those last two are decidedly not temporary, Louie...

As is so often the case with early eHow articles (this one dates to 2009), there's no reference included. In other words, we have not idea where Doverspike came up with the cockamamie notion that to stretch your mesh, you

1. "Dig post holes every 6 to 8 feet down your boundary line. Pour concrete in the holes and insert the fence posts..." – Wouldn't it be easier to put the cement around posts that are already in the holes?
2. "Cut two two-by-fours [for] stretchers"
3. "Drill round-head bolts every 8 inches along the length of the wire stretchers..." – You don't "drill... bolts," Louie.
4. "Affix one of the wire stretchers to a fence post"
5. Use a "hand-cranked chain pulley [attached to the other] wire stretcher" to pull the mesh taut – Never heard of a "come-along," Louie? 
6. "Screw down the other wire stretcher onto the post..." Wait, what?

Doverspike would have his readers perform this dance for every pair of fence posts, but that's not how it works. Louie, you pull the mesh taut along the length of several posts (or all of them) and fasten it securely with wire staples at each post. You use wire ties if the posts are metal. If you follow the directions our Dumbass of the Day posted, you'll waste a couple of 2-by-4s at every post, plus take forever to install the fence. So much for HomeUnSteady...

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