Customer Support, Kraft-ily Clueless

Kraft Foods' new logo

One of the staffers has been on a reduced-fat diet for many years (he looks MAH-velous, by the way), and has for most of that time used 2% milkfat cheese for cooking and, occasionally, snacking (he admits to choosing Cabot Farms Extra Sharp White Vermont cheddar these days). Lately, however, he's been unable to find either the store brand of the cheese or the national brand, Kraft. Wondering whether that was because Kraft had discontinued the stuff or Kroger, WalMart, Meijer, and Target had simultaneously stopped stocking it, he reached out to Kraft, saying:

"I am no longer able to find reduced 2% milk cheddar cheese, either block or shredded, in my local groceries. I am also unable to find any reference to the product on your website. Have these products been discontinued? If yes, why? If not, why aren't they available in ZIP xxxxx?"

The question seemed pretty straightforward to us: is this product still available? Apparently, however, that's not how Kraft "customer support" interpreted the question. Their "answer," received several days later, was,

"Thank you for visiting http://www.kraftrecipes.com/ and for your interest in KRAFT 2% Milk Singles Sharp Cheddar .

I've searched our database and I have attached the names and addresses of stores in your area where you may be able to locate KRAFT 2% Milk Singles Sharp Cheddar :

[Location 75 miles from the ZIP code our staffer cited]

Please note that there is no guarantee that these stores will have the product in stock. This list of stores simply indicates that product was recently scanned at the provided location(s), so it should be much more likely for you to find it there. You can purchase our products from online at www.amazon.com"

The missive was signed by

"Rama Rengarajan
Director, Consumer Relations"

According to LinkedIn, there is a Rama Rengarajan employed at corporate Kraft HQ in Chicago, a guy with a PhD in grain science and decades of experience.

According to what was sent, whoever sent that email

• Didn't answer the question at hand.
• Substituted a different product for the one in the query.
• Tried to send our staffer to a store almost two hours away (for the wrong product).
• Forged the name of a Kraft VP to the reply.

That's why Kraft Customer Support (we use the term loosely) is the Dumbass of the Day. Any questions?

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