Urban Cycling for Dummies

Urban cyclist

A lot of content-farm freelancers seem to have one-track minds; publishing post after post about the same narrow range of topics. Our staffers sometimes wonder what prompts such writers (we often use the word loosely) to suddenly drop in content that's about an entirely different subject. HubPages.com contributor Ronald Bachner is a case in point. For some unknown reason, Ron took time off from his Christian witnessing schedule and Fox News talking point updates to stick in an article he called "Riding a Bicycle in Urban Areas."

The subject is dear to the hearts of many of the AN staff, the ones who regularly take to the streets and trails of our home city. Nevertheless, they were a bit curious about how Bachner managed to do such a lousy job. For starters, Ron seemed to think that a $2000 Cervelo S2 is a "common bike," a rather strange choice for urban cycling in the rust belt (Ron lives in Pittsburgh).

After pounding out some boilerplate (probably copied and reworded...), Bachner posted his list of the types of bikes available for urban cyclists, including such useful information as,

• "Road Bike: ...They usually have narrow tires, derailleur gears, or single speed or fixed gears." – No, Ron, a single-speed bike is a track bike (or a hipster's "fixie").
• "Touring Bike: A touring bike is designed for touring..." – Gee: wonder how it got its name, then?
• "Mountain Bike: A rugged bike with adjustable components." – What does that even mean?
• "Hybrid Bikes: ... It usually take's [sic] the best of a road, touring, or mountain bike." – Or the worst, your choice.
• "Utility Bike: A utility bicycle is designed for utility cycling..." – We think he meant cargo bike.

Be that as it may, once Bachner got his list out of the way he started in on safety, including such thoughtful observations as,

• "The foot pedal is a preferred choice... The pedals are usually covered with a strap but many prefer customizing with a foot cage or a toe clip." – Umm, Ron? The strap you mentioned is a toe clip. That's not to mention that no one's used toe clips since the '90s.
• "It is recommend that you choose a bike with brake levers on the handle bars. They provide a faster brake time." – Where else do they put brake levers: on the seats?
• "You should install reflectors on your bicycle to help others to see you." – Reflectors are required by NHTSA.
• "Obey Traffic Laws: ...In Pennsylvania every vehicle passing a bicycle must provide a minimum of four feet clearance." – We have no idea why he thinks that's up to the cyclist.
• "Please keep your eye's [sic] open and be aware of what is happing [sic] around you." – What: blind cycling? There's such a thing?

Deliver us from cycling advice written by people who haven't been on a bicycle since they got a their first driver's license, OK? That way lies madness; that, and a Dumbass of the Day award.

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