Mountain Bike Sizing for Dummies

bicycle frame components

We've noticed over the years that even the supposedly vetted freelancers for the "specialized" sites of eHow.com weren't always particularly trustworthy. Sometimes it was because they were just plain... stupid... but we'll admit that most of the time it was because the freelancers wouldn't stay in their lane. Take, for instance, "ACE-certified personal trainer and certified RRCA running coach" Deborah Dunham: she (probably) knew what she was talking about when it came to her areas of specialization, but our cyclists say Deb had no business trying to write, "How to Measure Mountain Bike Frame Sizes."

Bicycle Components for Dummies

road bike with flat bar

In the world of bogosity, there are few more bogus "information transfer professionals" than self-styled professional freelancers. This is especially true of the freelancers who wrote for the Demand Media Systems (DMS) family, including eHow.com and LiveStrong.com, dumping out thousands of ill-informed and misinformed posts per week. Among the dross moved to niches by Leaf Group, DMS¹ renamed, is an Erica Leigh post at SportsRec.com, purporting to address the question, "Can I Put Mountain Bike Components on a Road Bike Frame?" (previously housed at LiveStrong).

Quick-Release Skewers for Dummies

The skewer isn't the axle, Frank, this is

As we've mentioned on several occasions, contributors to the former eHow.com were required to "introduce" their topic with 75 to 100 words, a requirement invented by the site's SERP gurus. This often led to some amusing notions written by contributors who had no idea why anyone would do whatever task they were describing. Our search staff are all aware that when you find a ridiculous introduction on a former eHow post, the rest of the content is probably not much better. Witness "How to Change the Wheel Skewers on Bicycle [sic]," a Frank Whittemore production now living at SportsRec.com (originally at eHow client LiveStrong.com).

Schwinn Shifters for Dummy Cyclists

Did Sean really think you should take this apart?

In the era of COVID-19 shutdowns, it seems that darned near every schmuck who ever bought a 200-dollar "mountain" bike at Wal-Mart has pulled it out of the garage and is trying to ride it on the local hike-and-bike trails. Far be it from any of us to argue against exercise, but several of the staff feel that they could get rich off teaching people how to use their gears for a couple of bucks each. Based on what he wrote in "How to Fix a Gear Shifter on a Schwinn" at SportsRec.com, it's a fairly safe bet that Sean Mann would be one of those students, not the teacher.

Cycling Accessories for Non-Cyclists and Dummies

bike bags

One of our sister blogs publishes occasional reviews of cycling gear based on the author's experience with the products (a far cry from the "best of" review posted by one of our Daily Dumbasses). We don't have much respect for content about cycling gear written by people who we suspect haven't been on a bike since they got their first learner's permit. We're thinking of freelancer Debra Durkee, who probably didn't use that BA in English when she wrote the WiseGEEK.com content loosely titled, "What are the Different Types of Cycling Accessories?"

Bicycle Shifting for Dummies

Which way is "upward," Nicole?

You'd think that a "lifelong athlete" and a wannabe personal trainer would know better... Wait, you haven't read the rubbish that brought on that observation yet, have you!? Well, take a look: it's "How to Change Gears on a 10-Speed Bicycle," which eHowian Nicole Vulcan published at azCentral.com. To say that Nicole didn't do a good job is being kind, and we aren't inclined to be kind to people who write, for money, about stuff when they know nothing about it. Hell, they might as well be politicians.

Urban Cycling for Dummies

Urban cyclist

A lot of content-farm freelancers seem to have one-track minds; publishing post after post about the same narrow range of topics. Our staffers sometimes wonder what prompts such writers (we often use the word loosely) to suddenly drop in content that's about an entirely different subject. HubPages.com contributor Ronald Bachner is a case in point. For some unknown reason, Ron took time off from his Christian witnessing schedule and Fox News talking point updates to stick in an article he called "Riding a Bicycle in Urban Areas."

Dummy Bicycle Reviews

typical hybrid bike

A staffer or two once wrote reviews for the now-defunct review site Epinions.com. The notion behind the site was that people would submit real-world reviews based on their experience. The reality was that there were always a few "reviewers" who had little or no experience with the product they reviewed; especially if the product was expensive, popular, or both. Some of them were so unfamiliar with the product that they couldn't even spell its name; reviewing "Cuisinant" kitchen appliances and "Infinity" cars. Sad to say, it's still happening: check out "Comparison of a Trek 7200 Hybrid Bicycle to a Comparable Schwinn," posted to SportsRec.com by Angela Brady.

Bike Stems for Dummies

Bike stem, from quill to handlebars

Few freelance foul-ups are as frustrating (and sometimes amusing) as writers who blather for hundreds of words about a topic, even after having shown their ignorance with a basic mistake in the first sentence or two. Putting it simply, said freelancers can find the most definitive references and reword them at will, but if they have no real idea what they're talking about they're likely to say something stupid. That's how we caught SportsRec.com contributor Andy Humphrey: he said something stupid in "Long vs. Short Stem Bicycle," and one of our staffers saw it.

Bicycle Tire Inflation for Even Dumber Dummies

Blowing up air mattress "manually"

Just when we thought we'd seen everything... When we found some ignorant freelancer whose How-to article about inflating a bicycle tire conflated bicycle inner tubes with basketballs (no kidding: the guy said to insert the needle through the small hole in the rubber!), we figured things couldn't get any worse. We were, however wrong: along came eHow.com's Tammie Painter and her post (now niched at SportsRec.com) entitled "How to Inflate Bike Tires Without a Pump."

Exercise Bike Resistance for Dummies

tension adjustment, exercise bike

Among the more irritating versions of freelance "how-to" help, particularly at the old eHow.com website, were the (many) occasions when someone ignorant of the problem they were supposedly addressing simply reworded the instructions for a specific case. Take, for instance, screenwriter Paul Lin and his attempt to explain "How to Adjust Exercise Bike Resistance" for what is now SportsRec.com. What's worse is that he may not have even understood the question in the first place...

Bicycles and Hip Replacement for Dummies

What type of bicycle do you need?

Far be it from anyone here at the Antisocial Network to give medical advice (except, perhaps, when it comes to correcting common dumbassery). When it comes to your health and your body, we think you should stick to getting advice from professionals; by which we mean doctors, nurses, physical therapists, and other trained professionals; not a "professional freelancer" with a BFA in film. That's why today's DotD nominee is one such freelancer, Breann Kanobi¹, and we caught her attempting answer the eternal question, "How do I Choose the Correct Bicycle After Hip Replacement Surgery? " at SportsRec.com

Shimano Acera Derailleurs for the Dummy Cyclist

Acera rear derailleur

It's pretty much our watchword here at the Antisocial Network that you don't ask people to help you solve problems they don't understand, and that if they volunteer advice you should verify with someone you trust. Today's DotD is one such case. According to her bio, we can (probably) trust Lisa Schwalbe with horticultural questions, but in the case of her SportsRec.com post "How to Adjust a Shimao Acera," you may well need some more... informed advice.

Spin Bike RPMs for Dummies

Stationary bike computer

You have to love it when people can find more than one way to show just how unqualified they are to write their little freelance articles (and collect their eHow.com stipends). We were checking an older post for dead links not long ago, and what to our wondering eyes should appear but a new and equally stupid post on a similar topic. The old one was something about bicycle tire sizes, and the new one seemed tangentially related... it's eHowian C. Taylor and his SportsRec.com post, "How to Convert RPMs to MPH on a Stationary Bike."

Clipless Pedals for Dummy Cyclists (HSW Week 2)

cycling shoe and clipless pedal

One feature of HowStuffWorks.com that our Antisocial Network staffers have noticed is that articles are broken into chunks a few hundred words long. We figure there are several reasons for this: the pages show up separately in search results and the individual pages generate more ad hits, for instance. We don’t want to our readers to have to wade through four pages of freelance twaddle, though, so we’re fine with handing Brian Boone an award just on the basis of page two of his article, “How Pedaling Technique Works: Clipless Pedaling Techniques.”

SPD Pedals for Dummies

One of our staffers was reading a Facebook group for a local gym, and ran across this from another member: "At SoulCycle we had to wear special shoes that they give riders because your foot gets locked into the pedal." Ummm, yeah, lady, those are called "cleats." Someone nicely set her straight on the notion that the shoes are "special," since they're just Look Deltas...  Apparently, however, the idea of "special shoes" is confusing to many a soccer mom trying out her first spin class, confusion evident in the Janet Renee post "How to Use SPD-SL Cycling Cleats,"¹ now up at SportsRec.com.

Sprockets for Dummies

Sprockets on a bicycle 

When it comes to sharing information – the buzzphrase in the '90s was "technology transfer" – we've found that it helps if the sharer knows more about the topic at hand than the sharee. Unfortunately, the balance of knowledge is too often equal or even reversed when penny-grubbing freelancers get involved. For an example, we need look no further than today's DotD nominee, WiseGEEK.com writer Maggie Worth. Her contribution to the stupidification of the internet arrives in the form of the post, "What Is a Sprocket Wheel?" (now at AboutMechanics.com... with editing assistance from Jenn Walker).

Bicycle Gear for the Dummy Shopper

Every once in a while we run across yet another wannabe content farm. In the post-Panda era, the "crops" at these farms tend to be almost unreadable because of an excess of ads, but that's not their worst trait. Sadly, although many of the world's freelancers are happy to earn 20¢ a day for all their articles, native English speakers aren't. That's very likely why Bubblews was overrun by Filipino teenagers. But on point: today, we feature a writer from a hitherto untapped site, SooperArticles.com: he's Alex Simba, and he penned "Let' [sic] Have a Look on [sic] Essential Cycling Accessories."

Gears for the Cycling Dummy... Again

bicycle gear combinations

Remember the old joke about the patient who tells his doctor, "Doc, it hurts when I do this"? And the medic says, "Well, stop doing it"? We decided to take a day off from the Leaf Group/eHow.com family and really put a hurt on our collective brain by visiting EzineArticles.com. That venue is where we encountered Barbara Greene. Barb cranked out 43 sports-related articles at Ezine (11 of which included the word "venue" in the title). If they're all as bogus as "Tips On How To Use Bicycle Gears Efficiently For A Better And Faster Ride," then Barbie has some 'splainin' to do...

Bicycle Gears for Dummies

Cargo bike

Our research team members go about their business in different ways: some stick to a group of topics, some stick to a group of sites, and a few follow serial dumbass freelancers from site to site. Today's DotD nominee was turned up by a staffer who's a cyclist; a cyclist who was flabbergasted by the strange "information" published in the EzineArticles.com post "How to Use Bicycle Gears Properly." The flabbergasted part is because author Joan Bishop Denizot says she started her own bicycle company.