Flint for Dummies

typical flint specimen

Among the more persistent classes of DotD are the freelancers who, without first- and sometimes even second-hand knowledge, blunder ahead anyway to attempt to answer some sort of question. A not particularly surprising number of them seem to think that anyone can answer any question in science (you need only watch a week or so of "Jeopardy!" to give lie to that opinion). A case in point is Tyler Ellington, caught attempting to explain "How to Find Flint Rock" to an equally clueless interlocutor at OurPastimes.com.

In what has to be one of the most dull-witted opening lines, Ellington calmly intoned,

"Finding flint rock is easy if you know where to look."

No duh, Tyler. No duh. Ignoring for now the fact that flint is a mineral and not a rock, Tyler's suggestions are still rather... weak. According to his "research,"

"Flint can usually be found in areas where there is new construction or an area where erosion has occurred. Flint is considered hard and has a tendency to split into pieces. Flint rock often is dark gray, but it can also be yellow, red or brown."

We hate to tell you this Tyler, but that information doesn't really narrow it down very much, not to mention that we suspect anyone who wants some flint already knows what it looks like. In case you don't, it's smooth-textured and typically gray or brown with a somewhat waxy appearance; often with a "rind" of white or light-colored weathered material. Flint is most often associated with limestone or other carbonate deposits.

OK, back to Tyler's goofiness. According to Ellington, if you want to find you some flint,

"Look at geological maps of the places that you plan searching, and talk to area artifact hunters."

We'll break that compound stupidity in half: "artifact hunters" don't know where flint is, they know where flint artifacts (arrowheads, for instance) can be found. The suggestion to look at a geological map is a good idea if and only if you know what you're looking for on the map. Tyler obviously didn't. Tyler then said to,

"Search construction sites for flint rock... Construction sites can turn out flint rock that previously was buried. Get your flint rock from a construction site before a freeze sets in because flint that is frozen likely will fracture and split."

Well, no: construction sites are no better places to look than anywhere else. We have no idea where Tyler came by that bogosity, since it's not in his references (for good reason: it's stupid. And wrong). Finally, Ellington told his readers where to look:

"Search creek and river bottoms for flint rock. Pan the bottom with a big copper billet, and remove all the gravel to see what is left inside. Often flint rock is found in these bottom areas... Look under bridges and in eroded roadside ditches for flint rock."

Again, we've no earthly idea where Tyler came up with this crap. In reality, flint is less dense than most limestone, so would not collect in the bottom of a pan. As for the "copper billet," we guess the moron cribbed that pair of words from a reference on flint knapping. It sure doesn't have anything to do with panning!

So there you have it: suggestions for finding flint written by a yutz who had no earthly idea what flint looks like, where it occurs, or how to find it. And people wonder how we can hand out another Dumbass of the Day award every day... wonder no more!

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