Finding Groundwater for Dummies

Groundwater and surface water

Some topics appear so basic that they should probably defy the abject stupidity of a run-of-the-mill freelancer, yet we've long since found out that if there is a web surfer dumb enough to ask a stupid question; there is always an eHow.com freelancer ready to pounce on the topic (for a fee, of course). Let's have a look today at water, a requirement for life as we know it. Some benighted OQ asked Google "How to Find Underground Water," and eHowian Sara Melone was quick to... well, "answer" doesn't quite have the right ring... at Sciencing.com.

Melone, who seems to have zero background in hydrogeology (she has a BA in English), must have figured that it was a no-brainer; so she cobbled together an "answer" that fit that specification quite well. From the point where she chirped that the USGS says that, "[There] is over 2,000,000 mi3 of freshwater [sic] stored within a half mile of the earth's surface" to her suggestion that you call a dowser, Melone never once uttered the word "groundwater."
Even though she cited a USGS article entitled "How to Find Underground Water," Melone repeated very little of the scientific information it contained. Instead, Sara babbled for several hundred words, including misstatements and half-true factoids like,

"If you need to locate underground water for a residential well or other purpose, chances are that water exists below the surface of the land." 

Well sure, Sara, chances approach 100%: the questions a well-driller really needs to answer are how deep it is and how to get it out. Then there's this cogent observation:

"The presence of certain plants and trees that gravitate toward water can also be a clue to the existence of underground water sources."

Ummm, besides her misuse of "gravitate," what Sara should have said is something about the water being near the surface. There's more...

"Use a common shovel or spade to dig several test holes five to seven feet in ground depth [sic]. Keep the test holes spaced at least four feet apart to help you determine if underground water may be present in one area and not another."

That certainly bespeaks an ignorance of the concept of an aquifer! There's more...

"Many professional water locators use special electroseismic [sic] equipment that sends seismic waves through the ground and detects the movement of any existing water below."

Ummm, no, not the "movement" of water: what your resource said, Sara, is that you can use seismic techniques to determine the subsurface structure of any aquifers present.

Melone's failure to comprehend what she read is typical of the scientifically illiterate freelancers who infested eHow.com, which is one reason why there are so many Dumbass of the Day recipients around around there.

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