Storm Door Frames for Dummies

door construction

It boggles our staffers' imaginations sometimes to see just how far off the mark some freelancers' efforts land when they're thrashing about looking for a subject. Take, for instance, all the college kids who wrote for eHow.com; back when you could make enough cash for a trip to Mickey-D's and a matinee just by rewording some instructions you didn't understand in the first place. That is CLEARLY what was going on when eHowian Will Capra wrote what he apparently thought was "How to Build a Storm Door Frame," now living at HomeSteady.com

The staff carpenters all looked at the title and thought, "Someone wants to make their own wooden screen door. It's probably harder than it looks..." In our humble opinion, Capra made it even harder than it actually is! For what it's worth, we did find instructions for building a door from a kit at This Old House, but we suppose a well-equipped woodworker could make one from scratch. That would not, however, include Will.
Capra's biggest mistake — and it's a doozy of a screwup! — was conflating "storm door frame" with a rough opening for a door. This moron actually thought that someone wanted to frame a door, presumably on the side of a house or other building, for a storm door. Yup: that's why this incredibly stupid freelancer's text included such steps as,

• "Carefully measure your door(s), and mark the width and height on the sole (bottom) plate and adjacent studs, respectively, of the exterior wall frame." — Wait: it looks like you're talking about a rough opening there, Willie...
• "Beyond the door width, add marks at 1/2, 2 and 3-1/2 inches to each side for shims and insulation, trimmer studs and king studs, respectively. " — Yes, that's exactly where this idiot was headed!
• "Mark the door height on the king studs and add another mark 1 inch higher. Cut two 2-by-4 trimmer studs to this greater height and nail them to the king studs." — What an effing moron!
• "Prepare your door header according to local building code. " — Ummm, yeah, that's what you'd do: for a friggin' door!

Capra clearly did not understand the difference between the frame of a door, which is much like the frame around a picture, and framing a rough opening for a doorway. He also didn't seem to realize that a storm door fits over an existing exterior door!
This complete moron actually cribbed framing instructions for a door and attempted to cast them as instructions for making a storm door frame. The ignorance necessary to make such a mistake is palpable; and as a result, our nomination committee UNANIMOUSLY voted to name Capra the Dumbass of the Day. Heaven help anyone unfortunate enough to attempt to follow this idiot's instructions.

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