New Shower Heads the Dummy Way

using a wrench on a shower head

It's been a while since we stopped by the former WhoWhatWhenWhereWhyHow... or whatever the name was before it became Catalogs.com and started shilling for... well, for catalogs. Not that they exist any more. Where were we? Oh, yeah, it's been a while. That's why we pulled the list of candidates from the site out of storage and plucked an article by Julie Henry at random. Julie was trying to tell people about "Changing a Shower Head," and got a tad off track.

After blathering for a while about water usage (Julie says that, "shower heads cannot flow at a rate greater than 2.5 gallons per minute," which is half true: that's the standard at a water pressure of 80 psi, which she doesn't mention (she probably didn't understand it). Whatever the case, Henry eventually gets to the process of removing the old shower head and installing a new one. Says Julie,

"First, turn the main water off to ensure that you don't get wet during the task."

Why the "main water,"?  Julie? If you have half a brain, you need to turn off the water supply at most and the control valve(s) at the least. Next, Henry says to,

"Wrap the attachment nut with masking tape or cloth prior to loosening so that you don't scratch the finish and remove the old hardware with a strap wrench... an adjustable open-end wrench or pliers... "

Why we would care if we scratched a shower head we're just going to toss is beyond us. That's why Henry should have said to protect the shower arm... but she didn't. Of course, it's always harder than you expect to remove plumbing fixtures:

"If the old hardware has mineral build up [sic] around it.... Try scrubbing the mineral build up with steel wool or pour two cups of vinegar into a plastic food storage bag and immerse the shower head into it.... The acidic nature of the vinegar should be enough to loosen the build up. If not, try applying marine jelly or white lithium."

Naval jelly may be useful if there's rust, but it won't dissolve mineral buildups, which are usually lime. As for white lithium, we have no idea where she came up with that crap: it's a lubricant. After some babble about Teflon® tape. Julie would have her readers,

"Screw the new shower head on and tighten with a wrench. Get as snug as you can but do not over tighten."

Now is when you should protect the metal with tape or a cloth, Julie! But no, Henry got it backward. Now do you see why we're handing her a Dumbass of the Day award?

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