Ice and Pipes for Dummies - The Freelance Files MCMLXXXVI

frozen pipe rupture

When it comes to how-to information for homeowners, we're always skeptical of the info supplied by people who don't appear to have ever actually been homeowners or, for that matter, how-to practitioners. We probably aren't the only ones with this skepticism, but we know one group of people who never seemed to mind the cognitive dissonance: the folks at eHow.com. Who else would assume that a failed psych major turned exotic dancer would know anything about plumbing? Those are, however, the credentials DMS¹ accepted from Jade Blue in her Hunker.com post, "How to Prevent PVC Pipes from Freezing."

Apparently Blue was not only ignorant of the task at hand, she was also a little confused about just why we don't want PVC pipes (or any pipes) to freeze:

"Ice begins to form and gradually blocks the pipe. This blockage causes a rise in water pressure. Eventually the pipe ruptures and sends water everywhere."

No, Jade, the blockage doesn't cause "a rise in water pressure": first, water pressure remains constant upstream from a total blockage of the pipe by ice, unless the source of the water increases the pressure.  Second, pipes rupture because water expands by about 12% when it freezes. The "rise in water pressure" you mention happens between the frozen "plug" of ice and a closed faucet, which is one reason you're advised to let faucets drip to prevent freezing and also the reason why the pipe doesn't "[send] water everywhere" until there's a thaw. Idiot.

Jade managed to crib a list of preventative measures for homeowners, mainly recommending insulation. Her ignorance of residential plumbing (and of science) still managed to come through, however, in such comments as,

• "Caulk around your windows and doors." – That's general advice for weatherproofing your house; not for preventing ruptured PVC pipes (unless you live in Antarctica, we guess).
• "Insulate exposed pipes... Measure the insulation and trim to your pipe length. Do not block the pipe pressure relief valve. Seal your insulation using duct tape." – Don't block the pressure relief valve? That's advice for insulating a water heater, Jade, not PVC pipes.
• "Open cabinets so heat can circulate to pipes under the sink and near exterior walls." – "Near exterior walls"? What does that even mean?

Blue's ignorance of the physics of freezing water and her slaphappy job of copy-reword-pasted from an authoritative reference (which Leaf Group lopped off the bottom of the post when porting the content from eHow.com) are the main reasons she's picking up her second Dumbass of the Day award.

¹ DMS was Demand Media Studios, the former name for the company that owns Hunker and eHow.com. They're now Leaf Group, but we still call them DMS because you can't spell "DUMBASS" without "DMS"!

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