Weathering for Utter Dummies

Erosion

From time to time we wonder if the freelancers who receive our DotD awards really believed the rubbish they pounded out, or they were just in too big a hurry to watch the pennies roll in to perform due diligence on their posts. Either way, they're definitely deserving of recognition for their contributions to the stupidification of the internet – nay, to the stupidification of people everywhere! With that in mind, we're "happy" to welcome a first-time recipient, one Milton Kazmeyer (not, we're pretty sure, the guy's real name: his eHow.com posts were originally attributed to Matt Allbritton). Today's award, which we rather suspect will not be his last, is for the post "What Natural Activities Work to Break Down Rock?"¹ at Sciencing.com.

The non-scientific illiterate would point to chemical and physical weathering, phenomena Kazmeyer was able to spit out as well. As is often said, however, "The Devil is in the details"; and it's in the details where Milton came up woefully short. A hint that Milt was out of his depth appeared in his very first sentence:

"Over time, natural forces break down large rock deposits into smaller fragments, eventually reducing solid stone to gravel and smaller particles."

While correct at an elementary-school... maybe kindergarten... level, that's a pretty silly opening line. It does, however, get worse. Kazmeyer's first section tells us about "Friction and Tectonic Forces," where Milton explains that,

"As the plates of the Earth's crust move against one another, they create friction and pressure, and rocks caught between these plates may fracture and grind themselves into smaller fragments. fragments. If any of the broken pieces make their way to the surface, they may experience weathering, the next step in the process of breaking down."

We cannot, of course, confirm a negative; but it seems highly unlikely to our staff geologist that fault gouge was cited as a prime factor in physical weathering by anyone with a geology degree. We're at a loss as to what Kazmeyer thought he was saying. Naturally, however, it gets worse. More of his misinformation and misconceptions follow:

• "...any rock exposed to air undergoes oxidation, in which the oxygen in the air reacts with metallic elements to cause rust." – Well, no, Matt, only iron rusts; everything else oxidizes. 
• "Once weathering has damaged rocks and broken them down, the forces of erosion can take over to redistribute the material. " – We hate to be pedantic, but weathering and erosion can occur concurrently and, in fact, erosion can precede chemical weathering. More to the point, transport during erosion generally causes physical weathering of rock and mineral grains.
• "...scientists believe that one of the primary forces that shaped the Grand Canyon was erosion -- due to the waters of the Colorado River carrying away lightweight soil and limestone from the surface, and the winds blowing dust and smaller particles through the resulting channels." – Oh, wow, utter bullshit. Scientists, as opposed to "a writer and transcriptionist," know the history of the Grand Canyon quite well, and are quote certain that the chief agents of weathering and erosion are ice (freeze-thaw), gravity, and running water. Only an idiot would think that the canyon was carved by "winds blowing dust... through the resulting channels"! We mean, Geez: there's big friggin' river in the bottom of the canyon!

Need we say more? Let's give a round applause for Allbritton/Kazmeyer as he steps to the podium to receive his first Dumbass of the Day award. It probably won't be his last, though: given the number of posts the boy pounded out at eHow, we may be able to mine his bibliography for quite a while.

¹ The post has been sent to the "cleanup team" by Leaf Group, where it was snapped up by one of their less-than-competent rewrite specialists. We'll take a closer look at her work in the near future.

SI - GEOLOGY