Woodworking Plans for Non-Dummies

You assemble the bench from the underside, Bryan

Although many of our DotD nominations go to freelance articles that make an unholy mess of instructions for making or building something, occasionally we run across an alleged "how-to" that is utterly worthless because it is so general. Say, for example, you want directions to a restaurant in your city: do you think, "get in your car and drive there while obeying all traffic laws" is useful? No, you don't: those are just plain common sense. Well, by the same token, what Bryan Schatz told people in his OurPastimes.com post, "How to Build Sauna Benches" is a mixture of common sense and overly simplistic.

For his "references," Schatz did little more than link to companies who craft and sell saunas, which we submit isn't exactly "how-to" material. About all Bryan had to say about building your benches is to use "Knot-free cedar planks, 2 inches by 4 inches"; which suggests that Bryan isn't all that familiar with lumber (although we realize that the other J-school grad who "edited" this crapola wouldn't allow him to call the lumber "2-by-4s"). Be that as it may, the best instructions that Schatz could craft for his readers starts with,

"Measure the space in your sauna where you will install benches and plan a design with two levels of benches."

Seems to us that two-level benches are an option, not a requirement; but what do we know? we don't have degrees in "community studies" to set us straight. When it comes to the instructions, however, Bryan was rather vague. Not only did he not even suggest dimensions (even depth), he included such steps as,

"Cut the thicker planks for the bench framework with several pieces cut to act as cross members for increased strength. Cut the thinner planks to fit above the frames."

By "above the frames," we guess Schatz meant the seats – so why didn't he say that? There is, of course more: Bryan said to,

"Construct the frames using corrosion-resistant screws. Countersink the screws into the planks and the holes..."

...which, at least to us, suggests that Bryan had no idea what "countersink" means. He also, for some unknown reason, said to use "solvent-based wood filler" on the countersunk screws. He apparently didn't notice that all the screws used to assemble the benches in his reference are all driven from the underside of the support or, for that matter, that the entire assembly is built from 2-by-4 cedar.

We guess you can't expect a whole lot more when you ask a Dumbass of the Day to tell you how to do something he's never done himself. In other words, you need to already know how to do this to get any help from Bryan's "instructions."

DDIY - FURNITURE